The Uncommon Leader Podcast
June 18, 2024

Breaking Limiting Beliefs and Unlocking Your Infinite Potential with Rick Torrisson

Breaking Limiting Beliefs and Unlocking Your Infinite Potential with Rick Torrisson

Unlock the secrets to a limitless life with USA Today bestselling author and executive coach Rick Torrisson. Rick reveals powerful strategies from his acclaimed book, "Born Limitless: Cross Limiting Beliefs, Cultivate an Infinite Mindset, and Unleash Your True Potential." You'll learn how to declare new realities to align your behavior with your highest aspirations and hear Rick's personal stories that shaped his unique approach to leadership and growth.

Experience the profound impact of shifting deeply rooted beliefs as Rick shares his journey from childhood trauma to self-awareness and empowerment. Discover how unnoticed limiting beliefs can become perceived truths that hinder success and personal growth. Through compelling anecdotes and coaching examples, Rick illustrates the importance of identifying, challenging, and transforming these beliefs to achieve lasting change in both personal and professional realms.

In this episode, you'll also explore the fascinating relationship between outcomes, behaviors, and beliefs. Rick highlights a case study of a businessman who improved his leadership by addressing his core beliefs, showing how this can lead to transformative results. From Rick's alternative dreams of becoming a chef to his mission of guiding others towards recognizing their limitless potential, this episode promises to inspire and empower you to break free from your own self-imposed limitations.

Thanks for listening in to the Uncommon Leader Podcast. Please take just a minute to share this podcast with that someone you know that you thought of when you heard this episode. One of the most valuable things you can do is to rate the podcast and leave a review. You can do that on Apple podcasts, or rate the podcast on Spotify or any other platform you listen.

Did you know that many of the things that I discuss on the Uncommon Leader Podcast are subjects that I coach other leaders and organizations ? If you would be interested in having me discuss 1:1 or group coaching with you, or know someone who is looking to move from Underperforming to Uncommon in their business or life, I would love to chat with you. Click this link to set up a FREE CALL to discuss how coaching might benefit you and your team)

Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!

Connect with me

Chapters

00:00 - Break Through Limiting Beliefs, Live Limitlessly

03:00 - Overcoming Limiting Beliefs for Success

15:30 - Changing Beliefs for Better Outcomes

20:30 - The Power of Shifting Beliefs

25:42 - Discovering Limitless Potential

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.004
But here's the thing I want everyone to hear, because we've changed.

00:00:03.004 --> 00:00:08.125
To believe doesn't mean our behavior when we wake up the next morning is now in alignment and perfect.

00:00:08.125 --> 00:00:08.628
It won't be.

00:00:08.628 --> 00:00:12.089
We didn't get to our dysfunction overnight.

00:00:12.089 --> 00:00:14.428
We won't get to our freedom overnight.

00:00:14.428 --> 00:00:15.644
I do believe it's possible.

00:00:15.644 --> 00:00:32.514
Typically, the process is the work of continuing to declare new realities and new truth Declarations over my life, my relationships, my abilities in that area, so that, as I declare them, my behavior has to start aligning with my declaration.

00:00:37.262 --> 00:00:38.587
Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.

00:00:38.587 --> 00:00:41.929
This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast and I'm your host, john Gallagher.

00:00:41.929 --> 00:00:45.862
Today I've got inspiring author Rick Torsen on the microphone.

00:00:45.862 --> 00:00:55.110
Rick, a newly crowned USA Today bestselling author and renowned executive coach, dives deep into the transformative power of breaking through self-imposed limitations.

00:00:55.110 --> 00:01:06.012
Rick shares profound insights from his book Born Limitless cross-limiting beliefs, cultivate an infinite mindset and unleash your true potential, which he says took him a lifetime to write.

00:01:06.012 --> 00:01:17.424
In this interview, rick highlights the crucial impact of identifying and replacing limiting beliefs with limitless ones, urging listeners to stop settling for less and start living a life without ceilings.

00:01:17.424 --> 00:01:27.531
So, whether you're struggling with personal or professional challenges, this episode promises to provide a framework for awareness and growth, inspiring you to declare your desires and shift your mindset.

00:01:27.531 --> 00:01:28.774
Let's get started.

00:01:35.641 --> 00:01:41.570
Rick Torrisson, usa Today best-selling author.

00:01:41.570 --> 00:01:45.423
Rick Torrisson, just recently, great to have you on the Uncommon Leader podcast.

00:01:45.423 --> 00:01:58.040
I'm so looking forward to talking to you about your book and about the process that you went through and some of the great things in it that led to that bestseller status, or maybe even a little bit about how you wrote it, uh, and all the fun that goes along there.

00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:08.896
But I'm going to start you off with the first question that I always start all my first time guests on the podcast and I said tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are as a person or as a leader today.

00:02:09.959 --> 00:02:13.367
Yeah, that's a great question and, john, first of all, thank you for letting me be on your show.

00:02:13.367 --> 00:02:14.792
I love the podcast.

00:02:14.792 --> 00:02:19.699
I've been listening to episodes, man, so in line with everything that you do, and so God bless you, man.

00:02:19.699 --> 00:02:27.891
Thank you so much for this opportunity to spend a few minutes with you today and to learn from you and then to share a little bit about my story.

00:02:27.891 --> 00:02:30.855
So you know, there's interesting stories.

00:02:30.855 --> 00:02:31.241
I'll tell you.

00:02:31.260 --> 00:02:35.597
I was a single parent, raised by a single parent and a grandmother.

00:02:35.597 --> 00:02:37.842
I was a latchkey kid before there were latchkeys.

00:02:37.842 --> 00:02:39.627
You know I'm 60 years old.

00:02:39.627 --> 00:02:41.612
So you know, I know I don't look it.

00:02:41.612 --> 00:02:48.961
It's okay, everybody.

00:02:48.961 --> 00:02:49.442
I work out hard.

00:02:49.442 --> 00:02:50.705
You know I'm trying to keep up with my life.

00:02:50.724 --> 00:02:56.503
But lots of stories and there's some I tell in my book really that shaped me, that were the foundation for where I am today, and they weren't the best of stories.

00:02:56.503 --> 00:02:59.932
They were really some stories with some challenging heartache.

00:02:59.932 --> 00:03:06.144
I had some abuse situations by a babysitter that marked me and I bring that one up.

00:03:06.144 --> 00:03:19.394
It's not this positive story, but it's really when I reflect back and have learned I built my framework and how I understand limiting beliefs and overcoming limiting beliefs based on the beliefs I established over myself.

00:03:19.394 --> 00:03:26.481
When this abuse happened, it was about six years old and it was a babysitter, and I don't need to get in the details.

00:03:26.481 --> 00:03:33.883
We understand abuse and so you guys know that, and I had to define it and interpret it as it was happening.

00:03:33.883 --> 00:03:35.167
Right, because that's what we do it's like.

00:03:35.167 --> 00:03:36.110
Why is this happening?

00:03:36.110 --> 00:03:39.627
And I started to define myself in a certain manner.

00:03:39.627 --> 00:03:40.811
I must have deserved this.

00:03:40.811 --> 00:03:41.772
I must be bad.

00:03:41.772 --> 00:03:43.520
All women must be this.

00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:46.203
There was all these things that I didn't know at the time.

00:03:46.203 --> 00:03:52.287
But what we do to try to understand or justify something that's happening, we interpret an experience.

00:03:52.287 --> 00:04:02.375
So I interpreted those experiences and what I found that I realized looking back is those interpretations or definitions of that experience became beliefs, became beliefs.

00:04:02.375 --> 00:04:05.657
Those beliefs began to drive my behaviors throughout my life.

00:04:11.219 --> 00:04:17.093
Those behaviors weren't the best towards females and women in relationships, and I found myself with a myriad of broken relationships until I met my wife, who I'm now married to for 33 years.

00:04:17.093 --> 00:04:19.966
But I remember being with her and going man.

00:04:19.966 --> 00:04:22.101
This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

00:04:22.101 --> 00:04:25.370
And then I remember self-sabotaging that relationship.

00:04:25.370 --> 00:04:29.891
I thought why am I doing this to this relationship that I really want to be with her.

00:04:30.781 --> 00:04:35.273
I share that story because that's what got me, probably 30 years ago.

00:04:35.273 --> 00:04:36.184
That's what got me going.

00:04:36.184 --> 00:04:37.572
Oh, my goodness, what's going?

00:04:37.572 --> 00:04:44.307
What do I believe about myself and relationships that is causing me to ruin something that I really value and desire?

00:04:44.307 --> 00:04:55.959
And so I started digging in at that point, over 30 years ago, of going what is up with our beliefs and how they drive our behaviors that give us our outcomes, and what if they're not good beliefs or what if they're based on a lie?

00:04:55.959 --> 00:05:03.370
And I'm living my life around these beliefs that were based off of a lie that I told myself in a situation.

00:05:03.370 --> 00:05:12.572
So, anyways, that's kind of jumped right into the deep end, right, but that's a story and that's shaped this whole process that I've been in my whole life.

00:05:13.922 --> 00:05:15.026
Rick, I appreciate you sharing that.

00:05:15.026 --> 00:05:18.269
So you go from six years old and, as you shared, to 60 years old.

00:05:18.269 --> 00:05:33.562
You have these experiences, these stories, these awarenesses, if you will, about some of the these limiting beliefs that you had.

00:05:33.562 --> 00:05:35.125
It's uh brought itself to your, your USA Today bestselling book, Born Limitless.

00:05:35.125 --> 00:05:40.541
Crush Limiting Beliefs, Cultivate an Infinite Mindset and Unleash your True Potential.

00:05:40.541 --> 00:05:47.696
So you had 54 years to really write that, as you've gone through those stories, and so it's a great book, we know, just because of the time that it took.

00:05:47.696 --> 00:05:52.088
And congratulations also for being married for 33 years as well.

00:05:52.088 --> 00:05:56.581
So I just celebrated 30, uh just a couple of weeks ago.

00:05:56.641 --> 00:05:59.728
So congratulations that you don't hear that as much anymore.

00:05:59.728 --> 00:06:02.541
So it's a no, you don't, and I just love to honor that.

00:06:02.541 --> 00:06:07.793
And uh, I know, you know, you know and I know that road is can be difficult, but, man, it's worth it.

00:06:07.793 --> 00:06:10.348
I'm more in love with my wife today than I ever was.

00:06:10.980 --> 00:06:19.360
So you write, you write the book, and it sounds like you wrote the book for your old self, if you will, in terms of going down through that journey.

00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:23.403
But tell me, tell me a little bit more who did you write this book for and why did you write it?

00:06:23.423 --> 00:06:25.286
Yeah, so it was interesting.

00:06:25.286 --> 00:06:34.396
I do a lot of executive coaching, personal coaching and some of the things that I do, and I've been kind of coaching for a long time, but professionally for the last 10 years or so.

00:06:34.396 --> 00:06:51.803
And as I was coaching people, I kept running into this place of realizing you know, we typically coach or a lot of people call it mentoring, right, or trying to get people around skill sets to do better at their jobs, to be more productive, whatever it is to deal with things that they're trying to break through.

00:06:51.803 --> 00:06:58.505
And as I was working with people, I realized it wasn't the systems and the processes that were holding people back.

00:06:58.505 --> 00:07:00.350
It was our belief system.

00:07:00.350 --> 00:07:06.550
It was a narrative we were telling ourselves in certain areas of our lives not every area, but in certain areas of our lives.

00:07:06.550 --> 00:07:15.540
It was these narratives that we would be telling ourselves I can't, I won't, I'm never, I'm not, and we don't even realize we're saying them, we don't even realize they're there.

00:07:15.540 --> 00:07:19.706
And I kept running into these walls coaching people like, why can't we break through?

00:07:19.706 --> 00:07:25.555
And we have the system, the process, the know-how, the passion, the vision, the desire, yet we keep hitting these walls.

00:07:25.555 --> 00:07:31.240
And that's when because I was doing my own work, but I wasn't associating the work with me and my limiting beliefs with my coaching.

00:07:31.240 --> 00:07:35.632
And I realized in that process and you know what it is, it's these limiting beliefs.

00:07:35.632 --> 00:07:41.593
And so the book is really short, you know 30, some years of life, and 100 pages, right.

00:07:41.593 --> 00:07:47.961
Life in 100 pages, right?

00:07:47.961 --> 00:07:59.502
So it's really just about the framework around where our limiting beliefs come from, how we establish them, how do we identify them, crush them and replace them with a limitless belief that allows us then to break through the ceilings in certain areas of our lives.

00:07:59.803 --> 00:08:00.906
I'll say this last thing with that sorry.

00:08:00.906 --> 00:08:02.632
We hold limiting beliefs that become truths because we've held them so long.

00:08:02.632 --> 00:08:02.973
We don't I just.

00:08:02.973 --> 00:08:08.629
We hold limiting beliefs that become truths because we've held them so long we don't even realize they're limiting beliefs anymore.

00:08:08.629 --> 00:08:09.560
We call them normal.

00:08:09.560 --> 00:08:10.863
And what happens?

00:08:10.863 --> 00:08:20.141
What I learned is and the reason I wrote this is people who are living in a normal that's not supposed to be their normal, and I challenge people what if the normal you're living under isn't normal?

00:08:20.141 --> 00:08:29.154
If it is, then this is where you're at, but if it's not, what could be waiting for you on the other side of normal that you're calling this thing you're calling normal?

00:08:32.724 --> 00:08:36.043
I appreciate you sharing that Again with the stories that go along with it.

00:08:36.043 --> 00:08:47.768
You being a John Maxwell fan, a member, a certified coach and executive director in the Maxwell program, you know that he does a great job of bringing those things down on the lower shelf.

00:08:47.768 --> 00:08:51.140
So let's talk about that topic then, of a limiting belief.

00:08:51.140 --> 00:08:54.791
Early on in your book you talk about the difference between a limiting belief.

00:08:54.791 --> 00:09:04.849
And then let's go to your book title Limitless Belief, so define what a limiting belief is for me and then take me on a journey to limitless belief.

00:09:11.799 --> 00:09:12.302
Awesome, I appreciate that.

00:09:12.302 --> 00:09:12.865
Yeah, I love John Maxwell.

00:09:12.865 --> 00:09:15.017
I've learned so much in my relationship with him and their organization over the last 10 years.

00:09:15.017 --> 00:09:17.803
It's been really foundational and a big driver for me.

00:09:17.943 --> 00:09:21.431
So the idea of a limiting belief.

00:09:21.431 --> 00:09:22.833
What is a limiting belief?

00:09:22.833 --> 00:09:25.565
It's anything that we hold that doesn't serve us.

00:09:25.565 --> 00:09:28.311
The challenge is we don't realize it.

00:09:28.311 --> 00:09:44.706
Typically, we don't realize that we have a belief that doesn't serve us, and so, for me, the coaching process really begins when people are willing it goes back to that normal willing to challenge some of the mindsets that they have around their beliefs about themselves, others and the world around them.

00:09:44.706 --> 00:10:01.519
It's typically an identity issue, it's a belief about what they can and can't do, and it typically came about in their lives somewhere in their journey, and it's typically based on how they interpret an experience.

00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:05.466
Our experiences don't give us limiting beliefs, they're just experiences.

00:10:05.466 --> 00:10:11.913
How we interpret the experience creates a belief system and it doesn't need to be limiting.

00:10:11.913 --> 00:10:13.222
They can be limitless beliefs.

00:10:13.263 --> 00:10:17.724
We all know people and we have places in our lives where we have this belief that man, you can't stop me.

00:10:17.724 --> 00:10:24.375
I played basketball in high school and college and a little bit after college overseas, and I had this great confidence.

00:10:24.375 --> 00:10:29.772
I knew I wasn't an NBA player but I could compete at my level, at a pretty high level, and I believed I could.

00:10:29.772 --> 00:10:36.214
I knew I could and that drove my actions and my behaviors, the confidence I had in that area.

00:10:36.214 --> 00:10:41.831
But then you turn me over into relationships and face that area and it was not pretty.

00:10:41.831 --> 00:10:44.328
I didn't believe I had confidence.

00:10:44.328 --> 00:10:46.942
I didn't believe in myself, I didn't believe in the others.

00:10:46.942 --> 00:10:53.383
So there was this whole other framework that I had adopted because of what I shared the experience of my life.

00:10:53.423 --> 00:11:05.869
So a limiting belief is anything in our lives that actually isn't serving us or has put a ceiling over our lives and is causing us to settle for something less than we were born and created for.

00:11:05.869 --> 00:11:07.682
So that's a limiting belief.

00:11:07.682 --> 00:11:08.442
We all have them.

00:11:08.442 --> 00:11:14.400
They're there, whether we realize it or not, and that's the process.

00:11:14.400 --> 00:11:17.990
So a limitless belief comes, and I'll share this a little bit.

00:11:17.990 --> 00:11:26.293
I don't know where everyone sits in your community here, but I'm a person of faith and so I believe in our createdness.

00:11:26.293 --> 00:11:28.283
Now you don't have to believe in that for me to coach you.

00:11:28.283 --> 00:11:37.133
I don't lead with that, but it drives how I view people, all people, and I believe in our createdness that there were no accidents.

00:11:37.860 --> 00:11:40.008
Right, both of my children are adopted.

00:11:40.008 --> 00:11:41.472
They were adopted from birth.

00:11:41.472 --> 00:11:44.062
Both of them were conceived in rape.

00:11:44.062 --> 00:11:54.207
The world could have said you know what, to those birth mothers that 15 and 16 year old young ladies, these children don't matter, they weren't planned, they were not expected.

00:11:54.207 --> 00:12:05.110
You know all these things, that you could choose another path, because we think that their value is based on their conception or their environment or their circumstances or what people say over them.

00:12:05.522 --> 00:12:06.768
And I say this I don't think so.

00:12:06.768 --> 00:12:08.919
I think our value is predetermined.

00:12:08.919 --> 00:12:18.495
There is a value in us, in our very nature of our DNA, that, regardless of our circumstances, we have greatness within us.

00:12:18.495 --> 00:12:20.423
Now, circumstances are real.

00:12:20.423 --> 00:12:22.327
Conditions of our birth are real.

00:12:22.327 --> 00:12:24.373
Experiences we have are real.

00:12:24.373 --> 00:12:25.740
Are real.

00:12:25.740 --> 00:12:26.682
Conditions of our birth are real.

00:12:26.682 --> 00:12:27.683
Experiences we have are real.

00:12:27.703 --> 00:12:34.445
I don't displace those, but those things then cause us to have definitions of what's possible for us because of my circumstances and I challenge people.

00:12:34.445 --> 00:12:37.552
I understand that, but does that have to be true?

00:12:37.552 --> 00:12:41.085
Can there be another pathway?

00:12:41.085 --> 00:12:43.469
Can there be another mindset or belief system?

00:12:43.469 --> 00:12:53.553
And so a limitless belief to me is this understanding that you will, you can and you are, as opposed to I can't, I'm not and I won't.

00:12:53.553 --> 00:13:00.964
And when we start shifting our language, that impacts our whole physiology, it impacts everything about our subconscious.

00:13:00.964 --> 00:13:07.081
It has to start aligning and agreeing with I can, I will and I am Right.

00:13:07.081 --> 00:13:18.991
And so when we can identify where we're saying we can't, we won't or we'll never, and shift that language, we begin to shift our energy, we begin to shift our beliefs and then we can begin to change our behaviors.

00:13:19.461 --> 00:13:23.168
Does that make sense, rick, I'm following with you, as you, as you say that.

00:13:23.168 --> 00:13:25.509
I mean, I just have things that pop into my mind.

00:13:25.509 --> 00:13:41.846
I'm now a part of an accountability group I'd stop short of saying mastermind, but certainly a a group of men and one of the things we talked on early on a couple years back were those limiting beliefs, and if we heard each other saying those things that were keeping us from there, they we'd ask each other to turn them around.

00:13:41.846 --> 00:13:42.932
Yeah, and what that?

00:13:42.971 --> 00:14:17.328
positive mindset might be because I remember one myself, if I, if I own one very specifically, if there there was something that you know bad whether you, the one I used to love to say was if I was in the ATM and there are two ATM machines and I jump behind one line, they each have two cars in each line but I get behind the slower of the two cars and my, my uh favorite response, if you will, is all it's just my life story and there's a limiting belief, even in something as simple as that to talk about how you know I just you know, whatever line I get in, it's going to be the one that takes the longest, and it's something that we started to call each other out on.

00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:30.344
So there's an awareness that has to exist in that limiting belief mindset, but there's also that accountability for calling it out, and as an executive coach, you've got to do that on a regular basis and so let's stay in that space.

00:14:30.344 --> 00:14:42.903
There's a chasm between limiting belief mindset current state where I am today and the desire to have a limitless belief mindset when you're coaching individuals.

00:14:42.903 --> 00:14:45.230
What are the barriers you see that get in your way?

00:14:45.230 --> 00:14:48.447
Maybe you talked about some of those in terms of circumstance.

00:14:48.488 --> 00:14:52.826
But what are some of the other barriers you have to see folks overcome to move in that direction?

00:14:53.990 --> 00:14:55.131
Yeah, that's a great question.

00:14:55.131 --> 00:14:59.311
I have a framework that I use to help people understand.

00:14:59.311 --> 00:15:09.465
The biggest barrier that we've already mentioned 100% of the time is awareness that they actually have a limiting belief and that that belief is possibly based on a lie.

00:15:09.465 --> 00:15:15.740
If I can't break through that, if they won't question the normal, we'll never make it anywhere in the conversation.

00:15:15.740 --> 00:15:18.506
It's, it's a, it's a dead end before we start.

00:15:18.506 --> 00:15:20.631
So that's really the biggest thing.

00:15:20.631 --> 00:15:29.744
Right, the framework says this All of the outcomes that we get in our lives the good and the bad doesn't matter, it's neutral outcomes, products of actions.

00:15:30.245 --> 00:15:33.208
All of our outcomes come from an action, a behavior.

00:15:33.208 --> 00:15:35.452
Right, everything we do has a result.

00:15:35.452 --> 00:15:37.520
There's fruit to it, good or bad, but there's fruit.

00:15:37.520 --> 00:15:44.639
Every behavior that we do, all of our behaviors, stem from a belief that we have.

00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:53.602
We may not consciously think about it, but there's nothing we do in our lives, no behaviors that aren't attached to some form of understanding or belief.

00:15:53.602 --> 00:16:00.740
Right, those beliefs are formed by how we interpret life as we move through it.

00:16:00.740 --> 00:16:02.163
Things said, things done.

00:16:02.163 --> 00:16:07.333
Experiences, how we define, how we understand, they create a belief.

00:16:07.333 --> 00:16:10.826
That belief demands action or behavior.

00:16:10.826 --> 00:16:11.749
They have to align.

00:16:11.749 --> 00:16:17.047
We will not survive with our beliefs and our behaviors aren't aligned Good or bad, they will.

00:16:17.047 --> 00:16:21.384
Ultimately, the belief will drive us back to a certain behavior.

00:16:21.384 --> 00:16:23.789
Then we have the outcomes.

00:16:24.110 --> 00:16:30.889
So the challenge I ask people is are there any outcomes in your life that you are tired of or want to change?

00:16:30.889 --> 00:16:34.625
So they'll say, yeah, I've been stuck here, I can't break through here.

00:16:34.625 --> 00:16:37.030
I'm leading here, whatever it might be Okay.

00:16:37.030 --> 00:16:38.542
So you want to change the outcomes.

00:16:38.542 --> 00:16:39.845
What is the vision?

00:16:39.845 --> 00:16:41.087
What do you want?

00:16:41.087 --> 00:16:43.360
Not what you don't want, but what do you want.

00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:49.092
That's the other big thing is people have a hard time creating a positive future vision.

00:16:49.092 --> 00:16:55.424
They can tell you what they don't want, but we have a hard time describing what we do want.

00:16:55.424 --> 00:16:58.312
And so that's the other breakthrough is I hear what you don't want.

00:16:58.360 --> 00:16:59.182
That was my own story.

00:16:59.182 --> 00:17:00.886
When I was, I had an anger issue.

00:17:00.886 --> 00:17:02.731
It wasn't physical, but it was intense.

00:17:02.731 --> 00:17:03.522
I was intense.

00:17:03.522 --> 00:17:07.372
Your guests can, your viewers can probably tell there's a lot of passion.

00:17:07.372 --> 00:17:12.291
So my son he was little and I kept just getting angry.

00:17:12.291 --> 00:17:16.530
My intensity would intimidate and scare him when he was like this is not what I want to be.

00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:20.892
And so I was going through counseling and coaching and the whole thing, and they kept saying well, what do you want?

00:17:20.892 --> 00:17:22.846
And all I could tell him was what I didn't want.

00:17:22.846 --> 00:17:24.349
I don't want to be angry anymore.

00:17:24.349 --> 00:17:26.442
I don't want my son to grow up angry.

00:17:26.442 --> 00:17:28.183
I don't want, I don't want, I don't want.

00:17:28.183 --> 00:17:30.605
He kept saying I understand, but what do you want?

00:17:30.605 --> 00:17:32.808
And I go back, I don't want this.

00:17:32.808 --> 00:17:34.770
And he said I understand, but what do you want?

00:17:34.770 --> 00:17:37.374
And I was like you're driving me crazy, I'm telling you.

00:17:37.374 --> 00:17:39.256
And he said, no, you're not telling me what you want.

00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.461
And it hit me and I was like, oh, I don't have a vision for what it would look like to not be angry.

00:17:56.461 --> 00:17:57.423
And so I'm telling myself don't be angry.

00:17:57.423 --> 00:17:59.144
But our subconscious, which is what drives us, only hears angry, be angry.

00:17:59.144 --> 00:18:04.348
And so I was continuing that cycle until I started to say, ok, I want to be peaceful, I want to listen first, I want to respond.

00:18:04.348 --> 00:18:09.193
Slowly, I started declaring what I wanted Right.

00:18:09.193 --> 00:18:10.815
So here's the thing, right.

00:18:10.815 --> 00:18:18.521
So we have outcomes, we have behaviors, we have beliefs.

00:18:18.521 --> 00:18:28.220
And, john, let me ask you this like in your relationships and what you've seen in business and this is practical right when we don't like the outcomes, what do we typically try to put our energy towards when we don't like the results we're getting Well.

00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:29.924
I mean, too often it's excuses.

00:18:29.924 --> 00:18:33.884
But certainly I want to change the behavior, change the action, set up a new discipline.

00:18:34.405 --> 00:18:37.782
A new discipline, new system, new process, and those are important.

00:18:37.782 --> 00:18:41.011
You cannot change your outcomes without changing a behavior.

00:18:41.011 --> 00:18:49.766
The problem is we never get to the reason why we act that way and if we don't ask the belief question how many times have you tried to change a behavior?

00:18:49.766 --> 00:18:51.367
And we end up right back where we were and go.

00:18:51.367 --> 00:18:53.651
Man, and I've got a strong will.

00:18:53.651 --> 00:18:57.340
I can change my behaviors and I can sustain it for a long time.

00:18:58.303 --> 00:19:10.665
99.9% of the time, something's going to happen that's going to cause me to revert back to what I'm comfortable with, what I'm familiar with, what I believe, because I never changed my belief that was driving my behavior.

00:19:10.665 --> 00:19:13.982
Does that make sense?

00:19:13.982 --> 00:19:18.692
So the coaching, the strongholds, are those places where people have not asked those questions.

00:19:18.692 --> 00:19:25.250
They've not thought about the actual beliefs that are causing them to behave repetitiously in this way.

00:19:25.250 --> 00:19:26.974
That doesn't serve them anymore.

00:19:26.974 --> 00:19:33.701
Once we do that, we can work through everything else them anymore.

00:19:33.701 --> 00:19:34.806
Once we do that, we can work through everything else.

00:19:34.806 --> 00:19:34.987
We can.

00:19:34.987 --> 00:19:38.099
100% of the time, I can get someone to level up their life to that limitless life, whatever that means to them.

00:19:38.099 --> 00:19:41.949
We can get there pretty easily once they start recognizing.

00:19:41.949 --> 00:19:49.653
I got to change this belief, which is going to make me change my behaviors, which, over time, will give me better outcomes.

00:19:50.700 --> 00:19:53.763
Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share something special with you.

00:19:53.763 --> 00:20:01.721
Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations.

00:20:01.721 --> 00:20:15.125
If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me.

00:20:15.125 --> 00:20:23.161
It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team.

00:20:23.161 --> 00:20:25.906
Okay, let's get back to the show.

00:20:25.906 --> 00:20:30.218
Love, that You're exactly right.

00:20:30.258 --> 00:20:36.929
If you don't have that belief in terms of where you want to be, who you want to be in that space, the habits likely won't stick.

00:20:36.929 --> 00:20:38.861
They won't be there they want.

00:20:38.861 --> 00:20:43.282
There's something you got to connect yourself to, something that's bigger than the behavior you're trying to change.

00:20:43.282 --> 00:20:46.194
So you, you sound like you're one of your you.

00:20:46.194 --> 00:20:48.963
You yourself, again, are one of your best clients.

00:20:48.963 --> 00:20:50.126
But do you got us?

00:20:50.126 --> 00:21:00.433
Do you have a story of a particular client you don't have to share a name or anything but where you've used that framework and it's had a dramatic impact on how your life changed.

00:21:01.580 --> 00:21:07.269
I guess, fortunately or unfortunately, I've got quite a few right and really the principles are true.

00:21:07.269 --> 00:21:18.530
So my coaching is holistic and what I mean by that is, I believe you've got to change and deal with and I don't know if people are watching They'll see that but me, the flesh, the human, it's personal before it's corporate.

00:21:18.530 --> 00:21:32.807
So no matter what corporate things we want to change in our businesses, in our structures, in our organizations, the individuals have to first deal with their own vision, their values, their beliefs, right, because it's the person that's going to drive the entity.

00:21:32.807 --> 00:21:46.941
So I've got lots of stories about individuals who called me in to work on their organizational roadblocks and structures and leadership right, that they thought, hey, I need to raise up leaders and I need to do a better job communicating, and yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:21:46.941 --> 00:22:02.480
And then once we get into it, we do a kind of a holistic look a success wheel, life wheel kind of thing and look at what they're after and what they want and what their goals are, helping them set vision.

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:03.462
So I had this one person that I'm working with.

00:22:03.462 --> 00:22:09.554
He initially brought me in for business purposes Very successful, multi-million dollars in corporations.

00:22:09.574 --> 00:22:13.222
He's sold businesses, he's led businesses, he's in an organization.

00:22:13.222 --> 00:22:21.211
He was struggling with some leadership and some relationship dynamics within his organization, primarily around the women leaders.

00:22:21.211 --> 00:22:25.780
He was like man, they don't stay very long, I just don't understand.

00:22:25.780 --> 00:22:27.201
And so we went through the process and here's what I found out.

00:22:27.201 --> 00:22:34.205
And so we went through the process and here's what I found out Successful in business Amazing, everyone goes.

00:22:34.205 --> 00:22:38.409
Man, look at how amazing he is Turn over here and he's on his fifth marriage.

00:22:38.409 --> 00:22:47.454
Hmm, he wants help with the business and the women in his business relationship because he's struggling and they're really good people and he recognizes it.

00:22:47.454 --> 00:22:48.557
But he can't keep them.

00:22:48.557 --> 00:22:54.538
But the reality is, what his issue was is his mindset and belief around his relationship with women.

00:22:54.538 --> 00:23:02.153
So he had a belief that this is just what life looks like, this is how they are, this is how I am, they don't understand me, we'll never get along.

00:23:02.153 --> 00:23:03.656
And yet he wanted so.

00:23:03.676 --> 00:23:07.202
When we started this conversation it was like let's talk about this situation.

00:23:07.202 --> 00:23:10.567
If it's OK and he goes, well, I would love a relationship that would last.

00:23:10.567 --> 00:23:17.864
Right, I want, I want the intimacy, I want the longevity, I want someone to, you know, live old with.

00:23:17.864 --> 00:23:22.278
But he said I don't think that's for me, that's just not my life, that's just not what it's ever been.

00:23:22.278 --> 00:23:25.564
And I said, well, is that based on a truth or a lie?

00:23:25.564 --> 00:23:26.833
Well, it's my experience.

00:23:26.833 --> 00:23:34.419
I said experience is real, the feelings and emotions are real, but what if the process, what if you're believing about this?

00:23:34.419 --> 00:23:36.553
What if that's not based on a truth?

00:23:36.553 --> 00:23:39.440
It's real, but what if it's not true?

00:23:40.603 --> 00:23:48.682
So we began to break into his beliefs around relationships and his ability to have a relationship with a female.

00:23:48.682 --> 00:23:52.619
I'm not talking about psychoanalysis and on the couch and all that.

00:23:52.619 --> 00:23:55.215
I mean there's places for that and I get that.

00:23:55.215 --> 00:24:12.227
But this was really just realizing he had adopted some beliefs because of behaviors and experiences in his life that caused him to hold women off at this point and not feel that they had a place or were equal to him or he could be in that relationship with them.

00:24:12.227 --> 00:24:26.933
So anyways, long story short, we worked through all that, shifted the belief system, right, so then he could then see women differently, pursue a relationship differently, differently, pursue a relationship differently.

00:24:26.933 --> 00:24:35.663
Now you look at the business and he was able to see and he realized, oh my gosh, I'm looking at the women in business the same way I looked at women in my personal life and the light bulb went off and it was like this is not okay.

00:24:35.663 --> 00:24:39.476
So now he could change his beliefs.

00:24:40.157 --> 00:24:48.262
But here's the thing I want everyone to hear Because we've changed a belief doesn't mean our behavior when we wake up the next morning is now in alignment and perfect.

00:24:48.262 --> 00:24:48.743
It won't be.

00:24:48.743 --> 00:24:52.200
We didn't get to our dysfunction overnight.

00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:54.538
We won't get to our freedom overnight.

00:24:54.538 --> 00:24:55.773
I do believe it's possible.

00:24:55.773 --> 00:25:01.550
Again, faith person, I believe the Lord can step in and just kind of break you free, and I'm all for that.

00:25:01.550 --> 00:25:18.942
But typically the process is the work of continuing to declare new realities and new truth declarations over my life, my relationships, my abilities in that area, so that, as I declare them, my behavior has to start aligning with my declarations.

00:25:18.942 --> 00:25:24.701
And so over time he started seeing the behavior shift and the outcomes change.

00:25:24.701 --> 00:25:28.053
Time he started seeing the behavior shift and the outcomes change.

00:25:28.053 --> 00:25:28.994
So probably longer than you were expecting.

00:25:28.994 --> 00:25:35.096
But that's one of many stories with the same principle that underlies it, just different circumstances, sure.

00:25:35.135 --> 00:25:38.431
I'll follow you Well and let's kind of jump in again back to you.

00:25:38.431 --> 00:25:38.632
Again.

00:25:38.632 --> 00:25:41.861
I love bringing it back to you, is that even in writing, this book?

00:25:41.861 --> 00:25:45.314
So let's talk about the book test that I often ask.

00:25:45.314 --> 00:25:52.343
I mean, someone reads your book and a year from now they see it on their bookshelf, sits back behind us.

00:25:52.343 --> 00:25:54.065
We both have our bookshelves behind us.

00:25:54.065 --> 00:26:03.980
What do you want them to recall after reading your book that they leave with?

00:26:03.980 --> 00:26:09.181
So what are the outcomes that are produced after the behavior of reading your book and, frankly, the belief that it could have an impact?

00:26:09.609 --> 00:26:13.019
Man John, that's probably the best question I've been asked in all the podcasts.

00:26:13.019 --> 00:26:15.255
You were asking me what are some questions I wish people asked.

00:26:15.255 --> 00:26:19.172
That's one of them, and I didn't even know I wanted them to ask that question.

00:26:19.172 --> 00:26:21.194
What a great, great question.

00:26:21.454 --> 00:26:24.659
Because I look at my shelf, like you do, and there's books that have you know.

00:26:24.779 --> 00:26:29.445
I look at it and go there's a thought from that book and there's a thought from that book and there's an impact from that book.

00:26:30.049 --> 00:26:47.584
So if they were to look at that book a year later after, if they've read it and they were engaging it again simple book, it's around this, only about the limiting beliefs I would want them to look at that book and be reminded that there is greatness inside of them and there are no ceilings over their lives.

00:26:47.584 --> 00:27:00.971
If they will trigger that thought, then maybe they'll realize they've been settling for something less than in some area of their life and go wait a minute, I don't need to settle for this, that's not my normal, normal.

00:27:00.971 --> 00:27:17.309
If they'll just consider that, if that will awaken in them, then they can do the work, they can understand, they can engage, they can begin to break off the ceiling that's over them to where they're settling for less than what they were born and created for.

00:27:17.309 --> 00:27:21.557
If that thought will come through, man, I'll feel like I've done a good job.

00:27:21.557 --> 00:27:22.298
Man I'll I'll have.

00:27:22.298 --> 00:27:23.922
I'll feel like I've done a good job.

00:27:30.190 --> 00:27:32.220
That's pretty good job right there then, rick, absolutely, and uh, I appreciate you sharing your story.

00:27:32.220 --> 00:27:33.163
I can't believe how fast our time has gone.

00:27:33.163 --> 00:27:35.673
I just have a couple more questions for you, if that's okay.

00:27:35.673 --> 00:27:38.881
Yes, sir, maybe, maybe just a couple of fun questions.

00:27:38.881 --> 00:27:44.662
So you know, you, you're, you share in your book, kind of your uh, we'll call it your vocational path as well.

00:27:44.662 --> 00:27:50.753
You mentioned being a man of faith is very important to you.

00:27:50.753 --> 00:27:54.066
You know, if you weren't a coach and an author today, um, what would, what would be your career path that you, that you, would have chosen?

00:27:55.590 --> 00:27:56.653
You want the honest answer.

00:27:56.653 --> 00:27:57.496
I'd be a chef.

00:27:57.496 --> 00:28:04.474
I love food, I love the kitchen, I love cooking and experimenting with stuff.

00:28:04.474 --> 00:28:07.734
My problem is those, those reality shows drive me crazy.

00:28:07.734 --> 00:28:08.657
They create anxiety.

00:28:08.657 --> 00:28:10.261
I don't want the pressure of that.

00:28:10.261 --> 00:28:21.101
But man being in a kitchen and just with some and just creating and cooking and eating this, something about that, so that would be just purely the pleasure side of it.

00:28:21.101 --> 00:28:21.971
That I would just love.

00:28:22.633 --> 00:28:25.971
Um, I love watching guys grocery games, and you're right, that is a little stress.

00:28:25.990 --> 00:28:31.352
30 minutes, they give you all that, that's not the kind of cooking I want to do, that I'm all stressed out.

00:28:31.352 --> 00:28:32.434
I'm like I would just.

00:28:32.434 --> 00:28:37.352
But the idea of sitting in there, you know just, I want to go to.

00:28:37.352 --> 00:28:40.480
We're going to go to Italy and one of the things I want to do is I would love to.

00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:54.541
I would love to sit in an Italian kitchen with someone as they're making and cooking and have a nice conversation, maybe a glass of wine and just just around the meal.

00:28:54.541 --> 00:28:54.962
So I'm a meal person.

00:28:54.982 --> 00:28:55.304
I love community.

00:28:55.304 --> 00:28:55.585
I love coffee.

00:28:55.585 --> 00:28:56.247
I had a coffee house for a while.

00:28:56.247 --> 00:29:02.417
I owned a coffee shop, didn't know much about coffee, didn't like coffee very much, but I love the atmosphere of a coffee shop.

00:29:02.417 --> 00:29:07.025
So but if I was so I was a pastor, I was a church planter.

00:29:07.025 --> 00:29:08.933
I realized I was never meant to be a pastor.

00:29:08.933 --> 00:29:11.579
I'm not wired that way.

00:29:11.579 --> 00:29:20.875
But that was the path that the ministry took when I was 25, when my wife introduced me to a relationship with Christ and I was an educator, a teacher and a coach at high schools.

00:29:20.875 --> 00:29:32.945
And then I went into full-time ministry for about 15 years Longer story for another episode and then moved into really just coaching and serving people.

00:29:33.106 --> 00:29:36.375
I don't think there's anything else I would want to do, and that's not.

00:29:36.375 --> 00:29:50.842
I have found my greatest passion because helping people recognize the greatness that's inside of them, helping them realize they don't have to settle for something less than they were born and meant for, and to dream again.

00:29:50.842 --> 00:29:55.641
I don't know if there's a greater thing I can do, and I will be quite honest with you.

00:29:55.641 --> 00:29:59.838
It always typically leads back around to a faith conversation.

00:29:59.838 --> 00:30:02.251
I don't start there, I'm not trying to drive there.

00:30:02.251 --> 00:30:11.326
This isn't about someone coming to faith, but it's typically where people end up, regardless of their faith, because they're like man.

00:30:11.386 --> 00:30:13.693
Why do you believe that and why do you think that?

00:30:13.693 --> 00:30:14.655
Where does that come from?

00:30:14.655 --> 00:30:24.353
And it gives me a chance to say I see something in you that you can't see, and you've defined yourself based on circumstances, stories and other people's opinions.

00:30:24.353 --> 00:30:30.723
But what if there's one who created you and knit you together in your mother's womb, who said that I have a limitless life for you?

00:30:30.723 --> 00:30:33.013
What would that look like?

00:30:33.013 --> 00:30:37.417
To believe that for just a second Enough to just tempt it?

00:30:37.417 --> 00:30:40.530
What would that do that?

00:30:40.530 --> 00:30:44.141
For me, there is no greater thing that I could be doing.

00:30:44.141 --> 00:30:50.749
For me, there is no greater thing that I could be doing and that's part of why I wrote the book is because I wanted people to start experiencing that there is freedom for us.

00:30:50.749 --> 00:30:52.997
We just don't even realize we need it.

00:30:54.109 --> 00:30:55.415
Wow, Rick, I love that.

00:30:55.415 --> 00:30:58.958
How do folks stay in touch with you and where do you want them to go find your book?

00:30:59.098 --> 00:30:59.881
Yeah, that'd be great.

00:30:59.881 --> 00:31:07.420
So at this point my book is on all the platforms so you can go to Amazon or Barnes, noble Books, a Million Born Limitless.

00:31:07.420 --> 00:31:08.181
Put my name in.

00:31:08.181 --> 00:31:10.144
I would love for you to go and grab a copy.

00:31:10.144 --> 00:31:10.744
If you like it.

00:31:10.744 --> 00:31:12.872
Give me a rating, that'd be great.

00:31:12.872 --> 00:31:20.412
But to get into my world, probably the best way is through Instagram, which is at Rick Torrison, and I would encourage people direct message me.

00:31:20.412 --> 00:31:36.222
If you go to Instagram, message me with a limiting belief that you've wrestled with and overcome or you're still wrestling with, I will send you a one page simple framework of how I help people process through crushing those limiting beliefs and replacing them with limitless ones.

00:31:36.222 --> 00:31:41.847
So if they'll go to Instagram, connect with me there, message me there.

00:31:41.847 --> 00:31:45.932
I would love to.

00:31:45.932 --> 00:31:47.838
That's the easiest way to kind of get into my world and they can message me through that.

00:31:47.838 --> 00:31:54.740
I do coaching and leadership training, communication training, but, but that's a great way to just get connected what a great idea, rick.

00:31:54.800 --> 00:32:01.530
I'll make sure I put the link to your instagram into your website and and to your book in the show notes so that folks can get to it kind of easily.

00:32:01.530 --> 00:32:04.115
But they can find you pretty quickly there on Instagram.

00:32:04.115 --> 00:32:05.616
That's a great idea, Rick.

00:32:05.616 --> 00:32:06.258
I'll finish you up.

00:32:06.258 --> 00:32:08.701
I've way overrun my time with you.

00:32:08.701 --> 00:32:11.265
I apologize for that, but I think it's been a great conversation.

00:32:11.265 --> 00:32:16.768
Last question I always end my guests with is to I'm going to give you a billboard.

00:32:16.768 --> 00:32:20.737
You can put it down there in Houston, Texas, whatever freeway you want to put it on.

00:32:28.809 --> 00:32:29.692
You're going to have a lot of folks go by.

00:32:29.692 --> 00:32:32.215
What message are you going to put on that billboard and why do you put that message on there?

00:32:32.215 --> 00:32:32.516
So it's simple.

00:32:32.516 --> 00:32:34.820
The message will say you were created for more.

00:32:34.820 --> 00:32:35.501
You were created for more.

00:32:35.501 --> 00:32:36.584
Why would I put that on there?

00:32:36.584 --> 00:32:39.715
Because I believe that our past was never meant to define our future.

00:32:39.715 --> 00:32:52.140
I believe that we are the author and star of our story and we've allowed our past to be the glasses that we see our future through, and it's limiting, and so I want people to know that you were created for something more.

00:32:52.140 --> 00:32:55.319
It doesn't matter how successful you are or how challenged you are.

00:32:55.319 --> 00:33:04.022
I believe there's more, not stuff, not things, not positions, not titles, but influence and impact that future into hope, idea.

00:33:04.022 --> 00:33:05.224
So that'd be my bill for it.

00:33:05.224 --> 00:33:09.076
You are created for more, and that's why I would say cause.

00:33:09.076 --> 00:33:15.082
I want people to believe something greater that they are born and created and destined for.

00:33:17.211 --> 00:33:17.632
So great.

00:33:17.632 --> 00:33:20.861
Rick, thank you for sharing with the listeners the uncommon leader podcast.

00:33:20.861 --> 00:33:22.653
I know you've added value to them today.

00:33:22.653 --> 00:33:25.681
I know that's your goal and I appreciate the words that you've shared.

00:33:26.542 --> 00:33:27.826
Yes, sir, thank you so much.

00:33:27.826 --> 00:33:31.012
Man Bless you, and thanks for the opportunity to be here with you.

00:33:34.358 --> 00:33:37.144
And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader podcast.

00:33:37.144 --> 00:33:38.271
Thanks for tuning in today.

00:33:38.271 --> 00:33:45.761
If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared.

00:33:45.761 --> 00:33:52.376
Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform.

00:33:52.376 --> 00:34:00.239
Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of uncommon leaders.

00:34:00.239 --> 00:34:03.298
Until next time, go and grow champions.