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I like to tell people when you wake up in the morning, do you think about what you're going to get, all the accomplishments you're going to have personally, or the money you're going to make?
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Or, when you wake up, are you thinking about the other people that you're going to pour into, that you're going to help be successful, that you're going to take care of and provide value to?
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Is it about you or is it about others?
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If it's about others, you're probably spiritually stronger than most.
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If it's about you, you've got some work to do.
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Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
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This is the Uncommon Leader podcast.
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I'm your host, john Gallagher.
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I'm pretty jazzed up the conversation I'm going to have with you today Not just me, but, more than anything else, the guest that's joining us, skylar Williamson, has got quite a story to tell, from his development as a professional baseball player to his time serving in the military, and he's got quite a story to go with there with regards to being a part of the 1st Cavalry and the 82nd Airborne Group and now to his successful career as an entrepreneur in the real estate world Very successful career as those things are measured and it just so happens that he's now moving with all of that into the wonderful world of being an author.
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He's got a book coming out that we're going to talk about today called the Steady Leader, and I'm excited about the conversation we're going to have.
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This book kind of provides some pretty practical models and frameworks that you can use as a leader in everyday life, regardless of whether you're just trying to improve a personal goal in your own life, whether you're trying to develop yourself as a professional or develop your team and we're going to talk a good bit in your organization.
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We're going to talk a good bit about that as well.
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So, skylar Williamson, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.
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Great to have you on the show.
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How are you doing?
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I'm good, I'm grateful to be here.
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I'm glad you are here as well.
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Well, I'm going to start you off, and I know you can handle pressure pretty good, but let's just get you right into this thing.
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Tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are today, as a person or as a leader.
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That's an interesting question, I will say.
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When I tried to come up with a title for the book, you know, the first thing I did was ask myself well, what, what makes me special to this world, what makes me unique to my family, what, what, what are my soldiers value about me?
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What are my my teams that I lead now?
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What do they value about me?
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And you know, I said I'm steady, right and, and that's, and that's why they love me, that's why my wife loves me, and my kids, my teammates, and um and so if I, if I just think about a story from my past that maybe made me more steady than not, uh, it reminds me of pop Warner football.
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Okay, and uh, I was blessed to be one of those kids whose fathers coached them at the same time, and so, until I got to high school, my father was one of my football coaches, and I love football because I love to hit people.
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I was a really nice kid, but on the football team, I left it all out there, and so I threw my body around and I played tackle football since I was five years old.
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The football team, you know, I left it all out there, and so I threw my body around and uh and I I played tackle football since I was five years old.
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I know now nowadays we don't do that anymore.
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You know we protect our kids' brains, uh, but there was no protecting my brain at the time, you know, from the time I was five and I could strap it on.
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We played tackle football and I remember in one of my games early in my football career, I got hit and it hurt and it knocked the breath out of me and uh and I just laid there and so my, my dad, ran out there and uh, you know, like he would any any player on the team, but he ran out there to me and uh, and he asked me if I was okay.
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And uh, and I was able to talk.
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At that point I said, yeah, I'm okay.
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It just knocked the breath out of me and he said well, let me tell you something.
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There's the difference between hurt, being hurt and injured.
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If you're injured, I will run out here and I'll carry you off the field, but if you're hurt, I expect you to get back up in.
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You know it might be a little tough, you know, for a young boy.
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Um, but man, there's so much wisdom and that lesson there and uh, and at the time to me that just meant well, I can't lay on the field anymore, to the point where I tore my uh, the ligaments in my right knee when I played high school football and I tried to get up and walk off the field.
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And you know, when you don't have ligaments in your knee, your, your leg collapses.
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But I was going to walk off the field because I had that hurt or injured mentality.
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But, man, as I look back at that lesson as an adult now, with some dirt underneath my fingernails, there's so much wisdom in that.
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You know, a lot of times we're hurt and we can keep going, sometimes we're injured and that's when we need support.
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But, knowing the difference between those two things, I I'll, I'll never forget that lesson, such a simple moment in time on the on a pop Warner football team, and yet I carry it to this day.
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Love that and I think you can understand that right along when people say, hey, I just can't get this done, and to your point is, are you not able to do that?
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Or you know you frankly do.
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You just have not have it inside of you to get it done.
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I could imagine.
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You've seen a bunch of that.
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I mean again, especially a successful athletic career like you have.
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So you talked about football.
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You also had a successful career in baseball and end up getting drafted, I believe, into the Tigers organization right, that's right.
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Yeah, and spending some time there and whether that was changed in terms of ultimately going to West Point may have been a difference, but, yeah, those things are in the world of sports.
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You got to learn the difference between whether or not you are actually injured or you're just feeling some pain, and that is a great message, that to go on.
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And you talked about it being steady.
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You talked about that word being steady.
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I mean that's the title of your book, the Steady Leader.
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Now, the steady in terms of what you're saying in the subtitle talks about how to deal with chaos in a much better way.
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So that's the steady side.
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Is that being someone who can be steady in a time of chaos that you're looking for, not just this calm and leader who never changes?
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Look, I read the introduction to your book and I got to tell you I'd love you to share as much of that story with regards to steady and what that meant to you when you were serving our country.
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Thank you so much for your service in either Iraq or Afghanistan, when you encountered something pretty traumatic that led to either pain or injury.
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Can you tell us a little bit about that story?
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I'll share that first story.
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And it was in Iraq, although I did serve in Afghanistan too, so I had the opportunity to experience both wars during my time in service.
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But, yeah, this story will sound unique, but it wasn't all that unique.
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We experienced this stuff on a daily basis.
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But you got to start your book somewhere and to give you the short version of it, we were in Iraq and one of my sister platoons the platoon closest to us that was operating in, was operating uh in the, you know, in the operating environment at the time got into a very major fight and they had uh casualties.
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And so U S army you know when, when one of your sister platoons is under attack, you know you maneuver to go support them in that attack, especially if uh U S soldiers are injured or killed.
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And so we obviously we started moving.
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I was the closest one there.
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We weren't going to wait on helicopters or someone else to go help them out.
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I wasn't going to wait for my commander to tell me to go that direction.
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We started moving there and I let everyone know we were going and one of my soldiers said well, what route are we taking?
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And there was a safe route that would take longer to get there.
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And then there was a safe route that would take longer to get there.
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And then there was a quick route, which we had never taken up until that point because it was so unsafe.
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It was an off-ramp that funneled your movement down.
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You were all in line and there was only one place to go, otherwise you fell off the off ramp.
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And so we took that route because, again, soldiers were hurt and, um, you know, and I would want someone to get to me as fast as possible if I had soldiers hurt and so we went on that off ramp and, uh, as you can expect, the enemy blew a large improvised explosive device, um, and it hit my vehicle head on and uh, uh, you know, I I can't tell you that I passed out.
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Um, all I can tell you was there was a moment in time where I just snapped to um and the vehicle was full of dust.
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Um, couldn't see, and what that means is, you know, the bomb was actually able to penetrate the vehicle right, otherwise there wouldn't be dust in it.
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My driver was trying to get the truck cranked.
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The truck was completely disabled, but he was trying to get it cranked so we can move out of the kill zone.
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My gunner, who sat in the turret of the vehicle, was completely knocked out, and the two guys in the back who were riding with us, my two soldiers with me in the truck there in the back that dismounted with me, both were screaming because they had had shrapnel hit them.
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So, essentially, you know, the door blew into my leg and fractured my shin there.
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Okay, so my side of the vehicle took the direct hit and it blew the door into my leg and so everybody, everybody in the LT's truck, was injured in some way.
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We were, we were all, uh, quote casualties, just at different, different degrees, right, and um, so, even though it was my vehicle that was hit and even though every one of us were hurt, my unit looked to me to make the next decision and, um, and we were all kind of sitting out, listen, every single vehicle was disabled from that bomb.
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It was a large bomb.
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There was a lot of chaos, everyone was trying to take care of the soldiers in their vehicle and yet, you know, everybody was waiting for me to make a call and, uh, you know, and we got out of that, right, but that I think that's the point is, chaos is going to find you.
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We were.
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We were the most elite platoon in my battalion, um, in fact, I didn't even have a company commander, because the battalion commander moved me around to wherever the, the, wherever the battalion's main effort was.
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So we were that good.
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He put us where he needed us most.
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So we were the best platoon and chaos found us right.
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We were humbled in that moment because we did something we shouldn't have.
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We went a route that we should have never went, but we were doing it for a right reason.
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But nonetheless, it found us.
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And you know, hey, leader, you still got to make great decisions.
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Even when you're hurt, even when your assets don't work, even when you can't see because there's so much dust in your eyes, you still got to make a call.
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They were waiting on me to make a call and I just think there's make a call, um, and I just think there's.
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I think it's going to find us.
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Obviously, it isn't all going to be combat for everybody, but but that's, that's the start of the book is hey look, chaos is going to find you.
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You still have to lead and when you lead, you don't want to be the person reacting, you want to be responding to every situation.
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And if you're going to respond, that means you put some thought into it, and there are the the.
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To me, the best way to bring clarity to the chaos is to leverage thinking the most effective way, and I think that that's through models.
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So I walk around this earth all day long looking for models to implement in my business and my personal life as a father, as a husband.
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I'm looking for models everywhere because I know that if it's chaotic and I start with a model where I'm 80% of the way there, then I just, if I want to be creative, I can be creative on top of that, but I'm going to be successful just with the model alone.
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And I just try to share that in the book that your job as a leader is to think so that you can respond, and the best way to do that is through models.
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Love that, oh my goodness.
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First I love the story and again to have that model ready to go to be seen as that leader at that time.
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Skylar, once again, I don't know that I can even half imagine what that was like in the time that you were there.
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So again, thank you and I'm sure that your team members thank you for that.
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Before we jump into kind of that framework talk with inside of your book, because it takes a special kind of leader.
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And if you've got I think about that if you've got the models in place, those are the things you don't have to think of Like you want to wipe out the things you don't want to think about so that when you do get in a chaotic or in a tough situation those are the times you really get paid to make the money and make the good decisions in a timely fashion Could be a surgeon that's, you know, working on somebody who was injured in the field, like that you know they are.
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Really we want to make sure we have all the equipment that we need in the same place and they can look for all the time.
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It's in the same room and all those things where the model is done and we do the surgery a certain way so that when things go wrong uh, you got time to think, you don't have to worry about the many basic things.
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I think that's so powerful.
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Yeah, when you see, uh, now in this, in your leadership space, now again, this could go back into your days on the football team or the baseball team in the military, or now in the successful real estate world that you're in and those that you're leading.
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When you see those that don't have the models that end up in chaos, what are some of the weaknesses that prevent them from, at you know, at least I even trying to identify what those models are.
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What are the things that they're missing?
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Yeah, honestly, john, and I think you'll, just by your profession, I think you'll be able to like validate this right away.
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Most leaders in business have forgotten to lead themselves first.
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Now they got every good intention in the world and they're reading these business books and they're given all the effort that they can at work to lead their team the best they can.
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But, man, you know, you got to lead yourself first before you deserve to lead your team, and then you got to lead your team well before you deserve to lead your business, and it has to be in that order and it has to always happen and so to to lead in your business.
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Really well, I think you got to be extraordinary at leading yourself because your team doesn't deserve the leader that shows up.
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That's unpredictable, because some days they have a bad day, some days you know they're, they're riding the stars, they're so high.
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They need someone that's going to show up every day, prepared, you know, thoughtful, caring, loving and consistent, and that's where trust shows up.
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If you could show up every day the same productive, thoughtful, motivated, caring, loving leader, uh, I mean, they're just, they're going to bring you ideas, they're going to fail and it's okay.
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Um, they're going to bust their butt.
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You know as much as they can.
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I mean, they're just going to show up.
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They're going to show up because they know that you care about them and um, and they're going to do more than just collect their paycheck.
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You know they're going to give you what they have and they're going to do more than just collect their paycheck.
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They're going to give you what they have and they're going to enjoy it while they're there with you, and they're going to be thoughtful, just like you.
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And I think that that all starts with you leading yourself first, and I think the ones that fail are doing that real well in some capacity.
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Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share something special with you.
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Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations.
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If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me.
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It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team.
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Okay, let's get back to the show.
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When I think about that, skylar, and the idea of choosing as the leader, that you don't already have all the answers, so you know, frankly, the barrier is pride, right, that gets in the way.
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I already know all this stuff.
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I don't need to get better.
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I've been given the leadership title.
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I've already arrived and and I don't have to worry about that and you touch on it in your framework early on inside the book, where you talk about its development of self first Yep, once you do that, then you can develop your team.
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Then you can develop your team, then you can develop your organization, which ultimately leads to the impact, long-term impact, especially that you really talk about in the conclusion of the book that you have on people's lives.
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So there's a model to really start to go by the develop self, develop team, develop your organization, resulting in the impact that you want to have.
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Great model to have.
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How is it that you then develop your own personal leadership Skylar on a regular basis?
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What do you do?
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What are some disciplines that you do that are important to develop self?
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Yeah, well, I'll share two of them and you cut me off if I'm too long winded.
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Okay, this is kind of summarizing two chapters, uh, but I but I think they matter Right.
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And you know, look the first.
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The first chapter is all about vision and purpose and there's lots of books out there on that and I'm happy to share my approach to that.
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Uh, but we have this chapter called combat ready.
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All right, and if you're a military unit, who's combat ready when given a mission you can execute right away.
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You've got your resources, you're trained, you've got your personnel, you're ready to go To me.
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When you're leading yourself and you're asking yourself are you combat ready?
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Really, what you're asking yourself is am I healthy enough personally to go lead?
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And I think of health in three ways.
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I think of it as mental health, physical health and spiritual health.
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And to me, mental health is a growth mindset and that you're pouring into yourself all the time with the idea that I've got to be better, consistently better, if I want my organization to grow At some point, as John Maxwell says.
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Better if I want my organization to grow At some point.
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As John Maxwell says, you will be the lead of your, the lid of your business if you don't continue to grow.
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And you know what the lives that trust on me to continue to grow our business and the opportunities for their personal lives.
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I'm not going to be that limiting factor.
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It won't be me, it could be them.
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It isn't going to be me, and so I'm going to grow every day, mentally, physically.
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I love um, so I just finished up a book uh, discipline is destiny by Ryan holiday, and I love his thought process, or stoicism, around your body and your physical health.
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Are you telling your body what to do or is it telling you what to do?
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You know, I think, is your body an asset or is it a liability?
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When you say, john, I've got a deadline coming and today's going to be a 10 hour day, not an eight hour day, I mean, are you, are you going to be able to do it with as much intensity as it would have been an eight hour day?
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You know, are you getting your body up every morning and telling it it's going to work out, or is your body telling you just lay in bed a little bit longer, you don't need to work out today, right?
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So that that's the physical health and then the spiritual health is.
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You know, I like to tell people when you wake up in the morning, do you think about what you're going to get you know, all the accomplishments you're going to have personally?
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Or the money you're going to make?
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Or, when you wake up, are you thinking about the other people that you're going to pour into, that you're going to help be successful, that you're going to take care of and provide value to?
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Is it about you or is it about others?
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If it's about others, you're probably spiritually stronger than most.
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If it's about you, you got some work to do and leaders have to make decisions free of the worldly pressure, and the only way to truly be free of worldly pressure on your decisions is to have great spiritual strength.
00:20:07.566 --> 00:20:10.598
All right, so that to me that's being combat ready, you know.
00:20:10.598 --> 00:20:13.431
The other thing is just energy, right, on a daily basis.
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Leaders got to bring great energy to their organizations and it's, it's, it's um, it's uh, contagious.
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And so to me, that starts with a morning routine.
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You credit Hal Elrod with the Miracle Morning as a great example model.
00:20:28.819 --> 00:20:33.363
To start with, in the morning, it kind of Uh, but I but I love to read the Bible, um, and then I'll have some prayer time after that.
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Then I'll read a business book and uh, and I'll I'll journal kind of what I took away in the chapter or two that I read.
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I actually posted on social media just so people can get the cliff notes.
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Um, after that I go exercise, um, physical, you know.
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I push weights, um, I don't, I don't do cardio or anything like that, I just I just lift weights.
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At this point in my life, um, and and while I'm lifting weights I'm, I'm listening to worship music again, just kind of like filling my mind with gratitude and freedom, right.
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And then when I'm done with that, uh, I pray one more time, you know, just again a gratitude prayer.
00:21:25.328 --> 00:21:35.941
And then I go wake my kids up, because I got to take my kids to school and it's my first opportunity, john, to pour energy into someone else, right, and I'm very thoughtful about it.
00:21:36.336 --> 00:21:39.085
When I walk into my son's room I've got an 11 year old daughter.
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She's a little bit harder to wake up these days.
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So I start with my younger one, my son, um, who just jumps out of bed, and I'll wake him up and I say hey, dude, and uh, my, my son's, hilarious, he.
00:21:50.715 --> 00:21:54.846
He repeats back what you say to him, cause he thinks it's it's uh polite.
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And I'm just like, hey, I've been missing you, man.
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And he goes, I miss you too, dad.
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And then I say, man, I'm just so proud of you.
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You know that he's like, yeah, dad, I'm proud of you too.
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And I go, today's going to be an awesome day.
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You ready to get after it?
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And he's like, let's go.
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And so you know, right away, my first employee, my first, my first teammate, my son.
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I tell him that his daddy misses him.
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I've been thinking about him all morning.
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I tell him I'm proud of him, so he can be proud of himself, and I tell him it's going to be a great day when I'm giving him a choice.
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It's going to be a great day.
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And then we go get out, and then I go do the same thing with my daughter, and then I go tell my wife, you know I'm grateful for her and I, you know, I love her just as much as I loved her 20 years ago.
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And then, and then I go to work and I'm kind of doing the same thing.
00:22:45.126 --> 00:22:49.451
You know, today, this morning I was nerding out about this brain book I'm reading right now.
00:22:49.451 --> 00:22:53.739
But when I come in excited and I'm teaching models to my team.
00:22:53.739 --> 00:22:57.726
I mean, it'd be hard for them to sit there at their desk and not smile at me.
00:22:57.726 --> 00:22:59.308
I'm like I'm nerding out in front of them.
00:23:00.155 --> 00:23:01.838
So I, just I pour that energy into.
00:23:08.934 --> 00:23:10.717
I think it does as well, and you touched on it.
00:23:10.717 --> 00:23:13.398
I mean, you're using that framework on a regular basis.
00:23:13.398 --> 00:23:17.642
You're developing self first, your spiritual, mental and physical as you're going forward.
00:23:17.642 --> 00:23:34.421
I know I was reading a little bit about the four-legged stool concept that you talk about within that and then you go develop your team, and one of those teams is your family, You're exactly right your son, your daughter and with your wife as well, and that's developing your family, your life as well, and that's developing your family.
00:23:34.421 --> 00:23:38.536
And then you take it into your you know, your team inside of your company as well, ultimately creating more success for your organization.
00:23:38.536 --> 00:23:39.699
I love that.
00:23:39.699 --> 00:23:41.402
I love the idea of that morning routine.
00:23:41.402 --> 00:23:51.375
Uh, I have not how Elrod's book, the the uh, the miracle morning uh, is our morning, miracle morning is on my reading list for this year.
00:23:52.238 --> 00:23:55.644
Um, you've you mentioned John Maxwell, who's been a big influence on me, no doubt about it.
00:23:55.644 --> 00:24:06.896
Uh, that's been something that's been important to me and you think about that like how you choose, and you've got inside of your book, you've got a long reading list that you'd make suggestions to others, who's been a, who's been a mentor to you.
00:24:06.896 --> 00:24:12.565
That's poured into you, um, as the second stick of you will of somebody's team, as the second stick, if you will, of somebody's team.
00:24:12.565 --> 00:24:14.808
So somebody else has had to do that for you.
00:24:18.875 --> 00:24:20.057
Yeah, there's a couple people.
00:24:20.057 --> 00:24:25.484
Some of them know more than others that they've been that for me and then obviously I read like crazy.
00:24:25.484 --> 00:24:34.059
So I get mentors, whether they know it or not, through my book, through the books that I read, and I kind of hope my book is a mentor for someone down the road too.
00:24:34.059 --> 00:24:58.156
Uh, but you know, I I learned a lot from Gary Keller, um, and he's a man of models and, uh, he was the first one to interpret Tony Robbins teaching models to me, and then he shared a bunch of his models to me and uh, and that, the, the, the idea of models was taught to me all throughout West Point and all throughout in the military.
00:24:58.156 --> 00:25:00.265
But no one taught it to me that way.
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I didn't grab a hold of it.
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We call them standard operating procedures and I just saw it as a part of my job.
00:25:06.123 --> 00:25:18.316
Well, when Gary pointed it out that the world is run on models, and then I heard Tony Robbins and some of these other really talented people talk about it, I just got it and I and I grabbed a hold of it.
00:25:18.316 --> 00:25:21.063
And then, that way, when I read a book, I'm reading for the model.
