From Struggles to Spiritual Gangster: Matt Gerlach's Inspirational Journey

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back. This is the Uncommon Leader podcast and I'm your host, john Gallagher. In today's episode, I've got Matt Gerlach, president of MG Sales. Join me as Matt shares his remarkable journey of personal growth and triumph, from childhood challenges to battling anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Matt's path has been an uphill climb, but through vulnerability, self-compassion and a commitment to personal development, he's transformed his life and become a successful entrepreneur generating nearly a million dollars a year. Get ready to be inspired as Matt takes us on a profound exploration of resilience, spiritual growth and reclaiming personal power. Let's get started. Matt Gerlach, welcome to the Uncommon Leader podcast. It is great to have you on the show. I'm looking forward to it today. How you doing.

Speaker 2: 0:49

I'm actually doing very, very well, John. Thanks for asking. Uh, this has been a good week for me. It's been a good month for me, a good year for me, really positive and optimistic about what the, about what 2024 has ahead for me and everybody that knows me.

Speaker 1: 1:03

Well, good, so it should. It should pan out to be a great conversation then, in terms of how things are going and keep the mindset positive as we go forward. I'm looking forward to that, but I'm not giving you any break, matt. I'll start you off like I start off every first time. Guest on the Uncommon Leader podcast, that's to tell me a story about your childhood that still impacts who you are today as a person and leader.

Speaker 2: 1:23

Well, during my childhood I always had a lot of drive. I never really was happy with just status quo and I always wanted more and what I asked for what I, you know, threw fits about to try to get from my family and my parents was often above what they were able to give me and it really left me feeling like there wasn't adequate support, and it's really a big basis of my story. As I got older and needed help from other people, I didn't know how to ask for it. I thought that it was always on me to accomplish everything alone, and I am one of the most dependable people I've ever come across and I know that I can do whatever I want to and need to. But at the same time, there was a generosity and support that I didn't feel that I am giving to others. It's a big part of who I am today. I'm a very generous person and I like to take care of people and I have empathy beyond what I think is typical and a lot of compassion for what people are going through. I'm an empath and I feel other people's pain and can imagine being in their shoes, because I know how it feels to be very isolated and on my own.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Matt let's go right there. I appreciate you sharing that story and I think a lot of us come up that way. I've heard I hear a lot of different things in that and you've been an overcomer and you're a young guy. You've had to overcome a lot in that journey. But let's jump right into kind of the essence of the conversation with regards to what you've overcome. You've overcome anxiety, depression and even panic attacks, you told me in your story so bad that you found yourself where you weren't even able to drive. And now now you're a leader, now you're an entrepreneur who makes nearly a million dollars a year. So tell me, how does one go from anxiety, depression and not even able to drive to an essence, success in the eyes of the performance, at a million dollars a year? What did that journey look like?

Speaker 2: 3:28

I would say with one word it's vulnerability, it's being willing to face the truth. I was in so much pain and I was suffering so bad I thought I was going to die. There was a big so, john, it was about when I was 33, 34 years old that I really started to suffer from anxiety, which led to depression, and I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and, to be honest, it wasn't that high, but I obsessed about it. I was just really latching on to this, this, this fear that I was going to die before I was 40. I mean, I would have bet a million dollars at 35 years old that I would not have lived to see 40. And I was in this really weird situation that I had just started a business. I was really in charge of my own destiny and my own paycheck in a way that I had never had and a lot of people aren't. And I did not think I would. I didn't know, I didn't know that things would end up the way they did for me. But more than that, I was pushing myself so hard because I thought that I would not be able to work soon, like I thought that you know, I need to work for six more months because soon I'm going to crack and I'm going to crumble and I'm not going to be able to provide for myself. So at the same time, when I really needed to slow down and really needed help and support, I felt very on my own and was pushing myself harder than ever, because I was always searching for this place of safety and I was literally dying from this and I was growing my business. I was bringing a lot of money in to my household and it afforded me the luxuries of being able to heal. I was seeing therapists that weren't covered by insurance. I started down the holistic path of healing and tried a few different types of therapies. One of them was this neurofeedback therapy that I still am not quite sure what it was supposed to do, but it didn't work for me. But I then found somatic healing, somatic experience therapy, and I really was able to go deep and go back and uncover what it was that was plaguing me. And what was wrong was there was childhood trauma that had never been dealt with and I always told myself that there wasn't anything horrific that happened to me. So how do I have any right to feel like I'm suffering from something? There was always a roof over my head, there was always food on the table, I always had clothes on my back, so I didn't really think that my situation was that bad, but there was a lot that happened at home. I was very, very, very lonely at school. I had no friends at all for about three years of my growing up and I grew up just thinking something was wrong with me and it was like when I was 33, 34 years old my life started speaking to me. Oprah says this that your life will keep sending you wake-up calls until you finally start to listen. And the intensity of those wake-up calls gets louder and louder and more prolific until you finally listen. I think that's what life is a lot about is learning to listen before things get too bad, because the wake-up calls won't stop. So I went down this path of healing and really vulnerably opened up and started talking to therapists, started talking to. Yoga was a big part of my journey and I let people in. I let people into what was happening and I was open to learning. And as I healed, I learned my worth. That was a huge part of my journey was learning my worth. I had a coach that. She really helped me learn what I was worth in life and in business, and I was a top performer. I started this business and I was able to justify what I asked my clients for because I was producing results. But none of this would have happened if I wouldn't have been willing to go back and face what the root cause was of the health problems.

Speaker 1: 8:04

Matt, I love this story and I'm going to put a pin in because you touched on some of the ways you've already been able to overcome that, some of the disciplines that folks may be able to learn from different methodologies to get there. But you touched on this a little bit and it's a saying that I have used before. A quote is that people will change when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of the change itself. You were in a spot that things were okay. I mean, you were making money and you had an awareness that something wasn't quite right, but it still wasn't enough to make you change. As you talked about using Oprah as a guide there as well, was there a point in time? Was there a tipping point? Was there an intervention or something that ultimately helped you make that decision that you needed to change and go get help?

Speaker 2: 8:53

Yes, it was. When I started my business, I had always been a top performer and I always had a really nice boss that was willing to fight the hard fights for me. When I started my own business, I had to advocate for myself to partners, to clients, to people above me, to employees. I had to build an entire team beneath me and I was letting people walk over me and that was a huge thing for me. I realized that I wasn't able to set boundaries, because I never had boundaries in my life that were appropriate.

Speaker 1: 9:34

So that's a fascinating point, even in the world that you're in. When you started quote your own business you're out there on your own to a certain extent. You talked about getting a coach, and that coach was able to point some things out to you that have made it better for you. Having said that and we all know this as humans we have a tendency, once we make change, once we put new things in place, that if we don't put the habits or disciplines to go along with that, both from a mindset standpoint as well as from some of our physical actions, we have a tendency to fall back into the ways that we were. So maybe one or two of the disciplines or habits you've had to put in place to ensure that you don't, in essence, go back to that place that you were because it's always there, it's got to always be the highlight reel is laying for you.

Speaker 2: 10:27

Wow. You know, for me I would almost take this a little bit differently and I had to give myself self-compassion. I am my own worst critic and I always get things done. That's never been a problem. But for me I had to really really be kind to myself and forgive myself for not being perfect and setting boundaries as an example. I mean, I'm still not perfect at it. I do a heck of a lot better than I did a year ago and that was way better than I did five years ago. But I needed to overcome a lot mentally and forgive myself and I needed to accept that I was trying my best, which I absolutely was. I think a lot of high performers out there are trying their best and the discipline is less about starting a positive habit or it's less about getting up early in the morning and it's more about forgiving yourself for getting up at five in the morning and still not getting everything done. And that's been my life forever.

Speaker 1: 11:44

Matt, I love that and even in an assault like there's an awareness that has to come along with that right. So that is the discipline, again, that you still have to exercise that muscle, that muscle of self forgiveness, that muscle of that allowing, when that critic comes back in, to stop that critic and to bring it forward, because from mindset standpoint it's not always easy. It may take meditation that helps you there and it's not, again, not starting a habit, but it starts off with that awareness that it's there and that it will always be there. And when you hear it, when you feel it, to say no, I'm not, I'm not letting you back in to that space. I like that. So we, you're in business, you coach others. You talk about in in your bio about how you've coached others to seven and eight figure success in terms of some of their activities. You feel very successful on that business side but, frankly, we're most powerfully positioned to help the person that we used to be, that we once were. We both have a common colleague and Rory Vaden, who said that. And so when you work with your clients, let's get real pragmatic. How do you utilize your story okay to help your clients succeed as well and maybe keep them from some of the things that you've gone through.

Speaker 2: 12:56

I think it all starts with opening up about what we're feeling. So much of my story and so much of my roadblocks and so much of what was quite honestly killing me was that I was afraid to open up about what it was that I was feeling. I was afraid to feel what I was feeling, and that is the first step is whether it be the wake up call or whether it be you addressing something before. I mean, I think it all starts with the wake up call. To be honest, whether you're not sleeping well or whether you're drinking and driving and, you know, get pulled over by the police, they're all wake up calls. But I think it starts with doing something with the information your body, your mind, your heart are giving you. And then the next step that I found that really helped me, that I train people on, is that we need to look at people's stories. We need to see what other people have been through, learn from other people, reading books, even movies. You know, whatever it might be, whatever you're going through, somebody has been through it before. And I think that when you can anchor to somebody else's story and see that they've overcome it, to see that they that, whatever we're afraid of. You know, for me it was really being honest about this childhood trauma that I had been through, and I mean I'll bring up Oprah again. But I mean, who's a better example? You know, she really set the example to us that just facing this, whatever happens, it doesn't matter, it's all about you and taking care of yourself. Which leads me to the next phase of the process, that really is, prioritizing yourself. And then you start to realize, when you get into your body and and and you follow your feelings, you follow your instincts, you start to realize what changes you need to make to give yourself the life that you need to support what you need. And for me, I had to learn to give myself what it was that I needed, and that was really hard because I never had boundaries until this point in my life. And I think that the next important piece of this is, once you're in a place where you're giving yourself what you need in life, you start to see what you're doing well at. You start to see what your value is. You start to be willing to ask people, like I asked friends, family members hey, what do you see my strengths to be? And you start to align your strengths, with how you spend your time, with how you align your career, and the confidence grows from there. So it's really a full process, but it all starts with listening to your feelings and being honest with yourself about what it is you need. Our bodies have the wisdom.

Speaker 1: 15:59

We just have to be brave enough to listen to it, hey listeners, I wanna take a quick moment to share something special with you. Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations. If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom. Forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me. It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team. Okay, let's get back to the show, and I love that, especially connecting with other people's stories. I mean cause, that's to me. That's one of the things that impacts me specifically. Or other people's stories. I mean you can see behind me, you know the books that I have on my shelf and I'm a big fan of movies and some of those stories as well. I get impact and I mean there are too many movies that I could share that I have tears every time I watch them because of the different stories, whether it's, you know, rudy, or one of my favorites, the Fugue and man, and the stories there in terms of what happens. Is there a specific book or movie that's impacted you the most, that you really use and fall back to, is something like that that's influenced you.

Speaker 2: 17:20

Well, my North Star in this whole project of improving my life is an author named Glennon Doyle. I was absolutely taken aback by her bravery and her willingness to face the truth of her life. And I have never read she has three books that are out and I have never read any books as many times as I've read hers. I've read the Meach probably seven or eight times by this point and I'm just shocked by how vulnerable and honest she is about the things in her life that she's done wrong. And one of the biggest jaw drop moments of my life was when I heard the phrase it's not your fault what happens to you, but it's your responsibility to heal, and that just completely floored me because I had never heard anything like that before. I had I'd never seen anybody heal. I'd never seen anybody really go back and be willing to address what was going on. I had so much shame. Shame has been my absolute biggest hurdle to overcome and once I started to have the tools to face that shame, which is vulnerability, everything became possible. And before Glennon Doyle, brene Brown was really like the first person who came in my life by way of book that I really learned an incredible amount from and I learned all about shame and I was like, oh my gosh, you know, this seems like what's going on with me. And yeah, glennon Doyle just showed me the way and her writing is so relatable. It's not big fancy words, the chapters are all really small. You can read them, you know, in five minutes. In some cases some of them are a little longer, but she showed me the way. But in terms of movies, man, I mean I cry very easily at movies, you know. I mean I'm an empath. I see everyone struggling in life, you know, and like even a movie like Nomadland or something like that, just like I'm such an empath and it really I can imagine how much people struggle by reading and watching movies and it really makes me want to help them learn their value.

Speaker 1: 20:01

The books that I read. I mean this love hate relationship with the books because you can really I can really get deep into a book and really have the impact. Be it Is this person like they wrote it just for me. It feels like they're talking of my life and what I need it, and I love when I get that out of a book and I hate it because it's you know, it's that awareness. It's that you use the word vulnerability a bunch, but it certainly is that light that's shining on me is some of the deficiencies that I have, but I always have hope that I come back to that. I can grow from reading that. I'm curious in working with your clients without giving away anything confidentially, do you have a specific success story and how you've been able to help take someone through that with regards to identifying that need and, you know, connecting the other people's stories and getting them to prioritize themselves and some of the wins that they've had?

Speaker 2: 20:58

Yeah, absolutely so. A lot of my work has been working with entrepreneurs and helping people start their businesses and realizing their value. So I think a lot of us are conditioned to think that asking for money is wrong or that we aren't worth what we would like to be. And I have one client that I helped start a business. She's an entrepreneur. She started a consulting business, sort of similar to me, and I've been a mentor to her along the way and I helped her price her business. I helped her price her business services accordingly, and even just lately she asked me a question about how she should structure an offer she had for her clients, and she was thinking a lot lower than I was, and it really has been through my ability to teach people what I've learned about affluence and abundance that has helped my clients succeed. My situation was, you know, I moved to New York in 2010 and I thought rich business people made $100,000 a year Like I, and I thought doctors, lawyers, may be made $200,000 a year, and as I got more exposed to different scenarios, I learned that that is not the case, and a big service that I offer to my clients is helping them understand that there's a lot of people out there that are no smarter than them, that are making way more money, and it's just about their confidence and we work a lot about. We work a lot with helping people understand their, understand their value and understanding that other people, other people thrive, other people succeed often when your value is low. So I help my clients overcome those obstacles and ask for what they should be getting paid based off of the value they're bringing, and a lot of it is by opening up their minds in ways they've never been exposed to before. Not everyone's reading books like you and I are. Not everybody has the time to devote to personal growth and I've really helped them be able to increase the prices they're charging and increase their lives, increase the lives of their families, and it spans generations.

Speaker 1: 23:31

That's an awesome feeling when you're able to help someone become that way and again understanding that it's not easy, that you have to overcome certain things. You set the boundaries in place and make that happen. Matt, I think this has been a great conversation. I want to shift it just a little bit, maybe a little less topical, a little more fun. But we talked before the we hit the record button about your media kit and I saw a photo of you in the front of a Porsche with a sweatshirt on it said spiritual gangster. What's a spiritual gangster? How are you a spiritual gangster, matt?

Speaker 2: 24:10

Spiritual gangster. So spiritual gangster is a clothing brand. Actually, I had no idea when I bought this shirt that I would get the attention that I have gotten, but it's why it's on my media kit. I get a lot of questions about it, but I think spirituality is an imperative part of life. I actually just started a book called you Are a Badass and it really laid out that nobody gets anywhere in life, no one gets to a really high place in life, without some sort of spiritual component. So for me, I found yoga about 15 years ago and the spirituality that I practice a lot comes from yoga. So when I bought the shirt, that's what resonated with me was the yoga part of it. But I'm a gangster, I yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:06

I love that, matt. I appreciate you sharing that, even again, some of the vulnerability within that, because it is just something that starts up a conversation and we have the opportunity to chat about it. Matt, there are going to be folks who listen in. They're going to want to get in touch with you. What's the best way to stay in touch with you? And then I'll finish you up with one last final question.

Speaker 2: 25:25

Yeah, I'm very active on Instagram. My handle is I am Matt Gerlach, or my website, mattgerlachcom, and I publish a weekly blog speaking about my journey, what I've learned. It's very vulnerable and I am all about helping people live an abundant life emotionally and financially abundant by Bye, by listening to themselves and by pursuing a life that's aligned with their true purpose on this planet.

Speaker 1: 25:56

Matt, thanks. I'll put links to those in the show notes, including your blog. I think that'd be something for folks to certainly learn from. Thank you for sharing that, and thank you for sharing your time, investing your time with the listeners today the Uncommon Leader Podcast. I do have one more final question that I always ask my first-time guests, and it's one that you may have already said something in the show that really has impacted this, but I'm going to give you a billboard. You can put it anywhere you want to. You're out there in LA. You're going to have millions of people see it out in LA. What's the message that you put on that billboard and why do you put that message on there?

Speaker 2: 26:29

Vulnerability. Absolutely, I think that we have got to be open to feedback. We've got to be able to apologize to people for things we do wrong. It's imperative. The world would be in a completely different place if all of us were a lot more humble and okay being wrong and respecting and showing compassion to others in a way that so many of us can't, and it's because of trauma. There's a fear that by saying we're sorry or by admitting our wrongdoings, we're sacrificing our power, our strength, and it's just very devastating as what it is.

Speaker 1: 27:14

So true, Matt, Vulnerability. We all could use a dose of it once in a while, and certainly there are leaders in our communities, in our country, that could use a little bit of it themselves, as you say, in terms of being able to admit they were wrong. Matt, my conversation with you today has been quite enjoyable for me. I hope you've enjoyed it as well. I wish you the best in the future and thank you again for investing the time with our listeners. And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader podcast. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared. Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of Uncommon Leaders. Until next time, go with Grow Champions.