From Timid to Triumphant: Fred Joyal's 90-Day Blueprint for Bold Leadership

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:19.605
And I want people to know that life is short and it's too short to let other people decide what you're capable of or to blame other people for your unhappiness, or to think you're going to get to your dreams tomorrow or the next day or when you have more time.

00:00:19.605 --> 00:00:21.667
Seize the moments.

00:00:21.667 --> 00:00:22.948
Don't just seize the day.

00:00:22.948 --> 00:00:24.730
Seize the moment.

00:00:28.693 --> 00:00:30.114
Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back.

00:00:30.114 --> 00:00:32.116
This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:00:32.116 --> 00:00:38.521
I'm your host, john Gallagher.

00:00:38.521 --> 00:00:39.685
Today I've got Fred Joyle on the show.

00:00:39.685 --> 00:00:40.770
Fred's not just an author and keynote speaker.

00:00:40.770 --> 00:00:43.960
He's the brains behind the book Super Bold from underconfident to charismatic in 90 days.

00:00:43.960 --> 00:00:52.226
In this episode, fred opens up about his transformative journey from being a shy, introverted kid to becoming a bold and successful entrepreneur.

00:00:52.226 --> 00:00:57.183
You'll hear some fascinating stories, including an amazing encounter with Sir Richard Branson.

00:00:57.183 --> 00:01:05.822
We dive deep into the concept of boldness, why it's so crucial, how to cultivate it and the actionable strategies Fred outlines in his Pride Method.

00:01:05.822 --> 00:01:15.772
Whether it's handling rejection, making the most of opportunities or turning your fears into stepping stones, fred provides a comprehensive framework to living boldly and without regrets.

00:01:15.772 --> 00:01:26.870
So let's get started, fred Joel, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:01:26.870 --> 00:01:29.066
It's going to be a great time to have you on the show.

00:01:29.066 --> 00:01:29.750
How are you doing today?

00:01:29.750 --> 00:01:30.882
You know?

00:01:30.903 --> 00:01:35.507
just really having a tremendous day already, so really excited about this conversation.

00:01:36.260 --> 00:01:41.352
Brett, I'm going to have a great time and I'm looking forward to chatting with you about boldness.

00:01:41.352 --> 00:01:57.484
But before we get into that discussion about your book and how you can help folks in that space, I want to talk to you about the same question that I always ask my first time guests on the show, and that's to tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts, if you will, who you are today, as a person or as a leader.

00:01:59.287 --> 00:02:03.194
So I was quite shy as a young person.

00:02:03.194 --> 00:02:04.141
I was quite shy as a young person.

00:02:04.141 --> 00:02:14.072
Uh, I had skipped the second grade and that sort of made me smaller and younger in every class, and so that made me much more introverted.

00:02:14.072 --> 00:02:31.289
Uh, but there was one day I'm 14 years old and I'm sitting in the local boys club where we had a pool hall and a gym and stuff like that, and this guy comes bursting through the door and he's looking for somebody and he's and, and that person's not there.

00:02:31.289 --> 00:02:38.173
Some other kid is not there and he says he was supposed to be washing dishes for me tonight.

00:02:38.173 --> 00:02:39.406
Where the heck is he?

00:02:39.406 --> 00:02:46.252
Um, and from the corner of the room I said I'll work now.

00:02:46.340 --> 00:02:50.731
It was more like I'll work you know because how young I was.

00:02:50.731 --> 00:02:53.188
And he says who said that?

00:02:53.188 --> 00:02:54.122
And?

00:02:54.122 --> 00:02:55.566
And I, and I said me.

00:02:55.566 --> 00:02:57.230
And he said come with me.

00:02:57.230 --> 00:03:08.561
He takes me outside, we jump into his convertible catalog, we drive to his restaurant and I work a 10 hour shift washing dishes.

00:03:08.561 --> 00:03:11.727
I call home and tell my dad I got a job and I'm working.

00:03:11.727 --> 00:03:13.469
He said great, Uh.

00:03:14.390 --> 00:03:22.758
So that job and that relationship, the, the owner's son, became one of my best friends in life.

00:03:22.758 --> 00:03:25.532
Um became one of my best friends in life.

00:03:25.532 --> 00:03:46.512
He eventually became one of my partners in the 800 dentist business and now one of his sons is in a business that I've invested in and his sons are like my kids, they're like my nephew, all from just saying yes, saying I'll work.

00:03:46.512 --> 00:04:02.775
So we all look at it and we laugh and say, from that moment of speaking up, an endless stream of abundant joy and opportunity and success flowed from that.

00:04:02.775 --> 00:04:06.891
I mean, I worked for that guy through college.

00:04:06.891 --> 00:04:13.530
I was a dishwasher, then a waiter, then a bartender in each of his restaurants.

00:04:15.860 --> 00:04:19.245
All because you're hanging out at a pool hall and you just said yes, as you walked through.

00:04:19.245 --> 00:04:20.528
It wasn't even about you.

00:04:20.528 --> 00:04:22.091
I love that.

00:04:22.091 --> 00:04:25.404
That is boldness, no doubt about it, in terms of understanding, and I know we're going to get a chance to chat about it, fred.

00:04:25.404 --> 00:04:28.095
That that is boldness, no doubt about it, in terms of understanding, and I know we're going to get a chance to chat about it, fred.

00:04:28.095 --> 00:04:40.629
Your book's over your shoulder there Super Bold, from Underconfident to Charismatic in 90 Days, and you're also a keynote speaker that you get to share this message on stages on a regular basis as well.

00:04:40.629 --> 00:04:42.552
Give me a synopsis.

00:04:42.552 --> 00:04:44.031
Who did you write this book for?

00:04:44.031 --> 00:04:46.541
Who do you talk to when you're talking about being super bold?

00:04:49.005 --> 00:05:16.639
I think most people end up stacking regrets in life, and so my goal is to help as many people as possible stack as few regrets as possible, and that just means you have to take bold action, because life is short, life goes zooming by and you you can't just blame other people for your unhappiness or for your lack of opportunity.

00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:20.959
You have to create it, and that means you have to be uncomfortable.

00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:27.845
So it's really for anyone who wants to be able to chase their dreams and stop watching the clock run out.

00:05:30.529 --> 00:05:38.413
When you think about that group and you chat with them, fred, I'm sure you hear all kinds of stories as you get opportunities to talk to folks.

00:05:38.413 --> 00:05:45.427
I don't know that I'd consider myself a shy person, but I'd also don't know if I consider myself a bold person as well.

00:05:45.427 --> 00:05:54.492
The fact that we put each put ourselves in front of cameras and on podcasts, that's, that's the first step in a in a good direction from that standpoint in terms of getting what you want.

00:05:54.492 --> 00:05:56.300
But what are the excuses?

00:05:56.300 --> 00:06:01.062
What are the things that you hear from individuals that say I'm just not bold?

00:06:01.923 --> 00:06:06.584
Yeah Well, see, we all have what I call situational confidence.

00:06:06.584 --> 00:06:24.735
There's certain situations where we feel confident and we take action, but then we hesitate the most when it matters the most, and it's because we're afraid of failing, we're afraid of being embarrassed, we're afraid of standing out.

00:06:24.735 --> 00:06:27.536
This has all been programmed into us.

00:06:27.536 --> 00:06:39.581
Don't be a show off, don't draw attention to yourself, don't be a loser.

00:06:39.581 --> 00:06:41.242
Think about how we grade people in school an F, a failure.

00:06:41.242 --> 00:06:44.947
It takes so long to embrace failure as the only way to learn anything.

00:06:44.947 --> 00:06:51.156
It's just because it's programmed as a negative thing rather than a learning experience.

00:06:51.939 --> 00:06:59.425
And you know we, we don't want to to draw attention to ourselves.

00:06:59.425 --> 00:07:04.634
That makes us feel unworthy or unimportant, or insignificant.

00:07:04.634 --> 00:07:09.141
Bold people don't worry about that.

00:07:09.141 --> 00:07:12.911
They're chasing their dreams and so they don't stop themselves.

00:07:12.911 --> 00:07:18.968
If you ask people what's holding them back, they get a litany of things.

00:07:18.968 --> 00:07:25.149
Holding them back it's the economy, it's my education, it's my parent, it's my neighborhood.

00:07:25.149 --> 00:07:29.064
It's my parent, it's my neighborhood, it's my ethnicity, it's my gender.

00:07:29.064 --> 00:07:30.689
What's holding them back is them.

00:07:30.689 --> 00:07:39.271
They're the ones stopping themselves 90% of the time, and bold people are never the ones to stop themselves.

00:07:40.254 --> 00:07:41.336
Well, you mentioned many of those fears.

00:07:41.336 --> 00:07:45.822
I think we read about what they are a feel of failure, a feel of stepping out and things like that.

00:07:45.822 --> 00:07:50.144
And inside your book you talk about handling rejection and this guy named Dr no.

00:07:50.144 --> 00:07:51.105
Who is Dr no?

00:07:53.607 --> 00:08:09.295
And this is the way human beings are is we would much rather avoid a negative feeling than experience a positive one.

00:08:09.295 --> 00:08:25.468
We're protecting ourselves from those feelings, and Dr no is really good at coming up with the worst case scenario, but terrible at calculating the odds of it happening.

00:08:25.468 --> 00:08:30.041
So that's how we move through life listening to this voice that's protecting us.

00:08:30.041 --> 00:08:38.330
Maybe it protected us when we were children or teenagers, but it's holding us back now and the clock is running.

00:08:40.041 --> 00:08:49.923
Brady, you touched on it and I think about you know we have shared coaches in Brand Builders Group and one of the quotes we always hear is your most powerfully positioned to help the person that you used to be.

00:08:49.923 --> 00:08:53.076
You shared that story at the start about being 14 years old.

00:08:53.076 --> 00:08:57.610
You know how do you handle rejection today differently than you did before?

00:08:57.610 --> 00:08:58.611
How are you more bold?

00:08:58.611 --> 00:09:00.243
Where did you really learn that?

00:09:01.424 --> 00:09:06.214
You know, I watched bold people and I just wondered why the heck they were that way.

00:09:06.214 --> 00:09:09.548
Why aren't they processing rejection the way I would?

00:09:09.548 --> 00:09:12.056
Why aren't they hesitating like I do?

00:09:12.056 --> 00:09:18.568
And I just realized that they're not confident when they act.

00:09:18.568 --> 00:09:25.004
They just act and people think well, if I were more confident, that I would take certain bold actions.

00:09:25.004 --> 00:09:33.255
But bold people know that the way you build your confidence is by taking bold actions when you're not confident, when you're uncomfortable.

00:09:33.255 --> 00:09:36.429
And so I said I guess I just have to be uncomfortable.

00:09:36.429 --> 00:09:47.360
And what happens is your comfort zone gets bigger and bigger and bigger, to the point where you you're super bold, which is you never miss opportunities.

00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.647
You're never the one stopping you, and you're bold when it matters the most.

00:09:52.647 --> 00:10:13.030
Because there'll be times in your life it may be one, two, four or five times in your life where you need to speak up or you need to step up or you need to take action, and that window will close if you don't, and the rest of your life will be very different I think you're.

00:10:13.091 --> 00:10:14.013
You're spot on.

00:10:14.013 --> 00:10:18.717
I think I mean there's probably a couple stories that I could share in terms of being bold.

00:10:18.717 --> 00:10:19.119
That I was.

00:10:19.119 --> 00:10:19.660
You know I had, uh, the.

00:10:19.660 --> 00:10:23.092
The word that you know is often used, at least in today's vernacular, is the limiting beliefs to saying, as you mentioned, that you're not worthy to have that or they won't.

00:10:23.092 --> 00:10:23.313
They won't.

00:10:23.313 --> 00:10:39.782
The word that is often used, at least in today's vernacular, is the limiting beliefs you mentioned that you're not worthy to have that or they won't say yes or no to you, depending on how that goes and there have been more that have been successful, if I learned that, than I have been unsuccessful Outside your pool hall moment.

00:10:39.782 --> 00:10:49.216
Is there any big bold story you've got about you in terms of when you've won as a result of being bold and not missed an opportunity, maybe recently?

00:10:50.620 --> 00:11:11.493
You know, one of the great things that happened to me, and you know, in terms of a life skill for success is to be able to meet anybody you want to meet and have a normal conversation with them, so so that it's a genuine interaction, not just having a selfie or something like that.

00:11:11.493 --> 00:11:15.331
That's that's a selfie is pretending that you know this person.

00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:27.504
And so I happen to be on Necker Island, the, the Island in the British Virgin Islands that Sir Richard Branson owned, and sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not.

00:11:27.504 --> 00:11:36.092
And we were a group of business people that had rented out the island for a week, and on the first day I ruptured my Achilles tendon playing tennis.

00:11:36.092 --> 00:11:50.128
And so Sir Richard hears about this and he comes over to me and I'm just sitting by the tennis court, I got my leg up, I'm stuck there, and he just says oh, this is such a bother that this has happened to you.

00:11:51.269 --> 00:11:52.450
Do you happen to play chess?

00:11:52.450 --> 00:11:57.994
Now the correct answer is I haven't played chess in 40 years.

00:11:57.994 --> 00:12:03.863
But you know what I said yes, I play chess.

00:12:03.863 --> 00:12:07.926
So he summons someone to bring a chess board over.

00:12:07.926 --> 00:12:09.681
We start playing.

00:12:09.681 --> 00:12:21.381
I am playing such an unorthodox game because I'm remembering how to play as I'm playing him, that I beat him because he can't figure out what the heck I'm doing.

00:12:21.381 --> 00:12:26.745
So he calls me a really bad name and immediately sets the board up again to play.

00:12:28.148 --> 00:12:40.323
And then we but we're talking and I'm and I'm and I'm not doing what people do, which is they interview him, they try to tell him about their business and maybe he'd be interested in investing or give them advice and stuff like that.

00:12:40.924 --> 00:12:43.267
Um, I've talked to him like a regular person.

00:12:43.267 --> 00:12:54.966
We talked about politics, we talked about all sorts of stuff, and so for the rest of the week he would come find me to play chess and then he would say at dinner there'd be 30 of us at dinner.

00:12:54.966 --> 00:13:03.683
He would say, Fred, Fred, sit across from me to keep other people from interviewing him, so he could have a normal dinner and a normal, enjoyable conversation.

00:13:03.683 --> 00:13:16.039
And so that moment of saying yes, let me clear up how significant this was.

00:13:16.039 --> 00:13:18.065
This is the business person I admire most in the world.

00:13:18.065 --> 00:13:24.481
Imagine having a chance to have a real series of interactions with the person you admire that much.

00:13:24.481 --> 00:13:27.778
That's what boldness can do.

00:13:27.778 --> 00:13:38.288
Bold people don't have an agenda, they just want to see what's going to happen and they're open to anything, because the unexpected has happened so often that they just trust it.

00:13:39.416 --> 00:13:42.566
Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share something special with you.

00:13:42.566 --> 00:13:50.562
Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations.

00:13:50.562 --> 00:14:03.928
If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me.

00:14:03.928 --> 00:14:11.966
It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team.

00:14:11.966 --> 00:14:14.701
Okay, let's get back to the show.

00:14:14.701 --> 00:14:26.076
Fred, you talk about inside even the title of your book from underconfident to charismatic in 90 days.

00:14:26.076 --> 00:14:28.181
So to be able to do that in 90 days.

00:14:28.181 --> 00:14:31.996
You're talking about having a system and that you can learn how to do it.

00:14:31.996 --> 00:14:35.865
So teach, teach us, fred, take us there.

00:14:35.865 --> 00:14:38.115
What are those skills and how do we get there?

00:14:38.836 --> 00:14:56.601
So what I did is I figured out how I became bolder and bolder and bolder over decades and I said I have to compress this into a systematic way that anyone can build their boldness muscle, because boldness is a life skill, it is not a personality trait.

00:14:56.601 --> 00:14:59.605
That's the great myth is you're either bold or not bold.

00:14:59.605 --> 00:15:07.323
No, you can learn to be as bold as you want to be, from wherever you are, but you have to do it systematically and that's what you want.

00:15:07.323 --> 00:15:13.849
I was bold a few times in my life, but I didn't know how to summon it when it mattered most.

00:15:13.849 --> 00:15:22.303
What you have to do is build your boldness muscle steadily so that your default mode is to take bold action.

00:15:22.303 --> 00:15:30.605
So it's a method I call the pride method, and we don't have time to go through all of it right now, but it's five steps.

00:15:30.605 --> 00:15:31.668
It's preparing.

00:15:31.668 --> 00:15:43.890
So you use preparation to prepare yourself for any situation meeting a new person, asking for a raise, raising money for your business, launching the business.

00:15:43.890 --> 00:15:47.484
So the PRIDE method is an acronym.

00:15:47.484 --> 00:15:49.000
Preparation is the P.

00:15:49.000 --> 00:16:00.629
Relaxing is the next method and in the book I talk about how easy it is to relax yourself by playing with your physiology and using your breath.

00:16:00.629 --> 00:16:05.302
It's very powerful, very quick, and most people have no idea how to do it.

00:16:07.934 --> 00:16:10.782
Insights is the I, and there are key insights.

00:16:10.782 --> 00:16:17.302
One of them I talked about never be the one to stop you, and you'll find out how few people will actually stop you.

00:16:17.302 --> 00:16:23.763
The other is people aren't thinking about you anywhere near as much as you think they are.

00:16:23.763 --> 00:16:26.248
They're thinking about themselves.

00:16:26.248 --> 00:16:36.369
So stop worrying about it, stop focusing on it and focus on what matters to you and the people whose opinions should matter to you.

00:16:36.369 --> 00:16:49.503
So, and there's there's a few more insights in the book, but you have to have this insight that 99% of the time, nothing bad will happen, except unless you decide to label it that way.

00:16:49.503 --> 00:16:54.903
That's why, when I talk about rejection, rejection is actually a choice to experience it.

00:16:54.903 --> 00:16:57.010
You don't have to take it on.

00:16:57.010 --> 00:17:04.906
You have no idea where that rejection actually came from, what was driving that, so don't take it on.

00:17:05.808 --> 00:17:08.904
You always have to make it up right In terms of going through it.

00:17:08.904 --> 00:17:11.996
So, yeah, I would love to be able to break down all five.

00:17:11.996 --> 00:17:14.182
You mentioned relax and kind of teaching techniques.

00:17:14.182 --> 00:17:16.528
How do you relax in those situations?

00:17:17.355 --> 00:17:22.603
So the first thing you do is check your physiology, because what we do when we're nervous is we tense up.

00:17:22.603 --> 00:17:30.555
We'll actually stop breathing if we're nervous enough because apparently, deep in our, our primal protective mode.

00:17:30.555 --> 00:17:38.155
That was helpful out on the african plane, very unhelpful to deprive yourself of oxygen, right, right, uh.

00:17:38.155 --> 00:17:53.523
And so if you start to take three deep breaths, really deep breaths, which I do before I go on stage every time, because I want to take any anxiety I have and turn it into energy, and that's what happens, because you settle yourself.

00:17:53.523 --> 00:18:03.681
And once you relax your physiology and start to take deep breaths, you realize I'm in control of my state and that relaxes you.

00:18:03.681 --> 00:18:06.904
The fact that you're in control is even more relaxing.

00:18:07.576 --> 00:18:15.346
And there's even a technique called the Vegas breath, where the Vegas nerve, v-a-g-u-s is a nerve that runs down the center of your body.

00:18:15.346 --> 00:18:24.689
If you vibrate that with a certain sound, it will affect your autonomic nervous system and relax you very quickly.

00:18:24.689 --> 00:18:29.726
So this but nobody teaches you that I didn't learn this in high school.

00:18:29.726 --> 00:18:30.920
I didn't learn this in college.

00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:32.582
I didn't learn this anywhere.

00:18:32.582 --> 00:18:34.422
I learned this so many years later.

00:18:34.422 --> 00:18:39.787
So I was just tensing up and clamming up and not breathing.

00:18:41.257 --> 00:18:43.230
And all the times you go on stage now, you still get.

00:18:43.230 --> 00:18:44.135
You still get a little bit nervous.

00:18:44.135 --> 00:18:46.906
You still use those breathing techniques to get you out there.

00:18:47.670 --> 00:18:48.211
It's a big.

00:18:48.211 --> 00:18:51.603
It's a factor of the size of the audience, which is also very interesting.

00:18:51.603 --> 00:18:53.597
What difference does it make how big the audience is?

00:18:53.597 --> 00:18:55.527
So that's what I have to tell myself.

00:18:55.527 --> 00:18:57.915
I'm having a conversation with 5,000 people.

00:18:57.915 --> 00:19:00.221
It's the same as having a conversation with 50.

00:19:00.221 --> 00:19:02.686
And so I I.

00:19:02.686 --> 00:19:06.776
The difference is the way I move on stage and that's all speaking technique.

00:19:07.057 --> 00:19:17.674
You know, when you understand that, you know there's monitors with you on on screen and things like that and and you got a 60 foot uh screen showing your slides or whatever.

00:19:17.674 --> 00:19:29.055
But I want to bring my full self to that audience, so I want to capture all my energy and I don't want any of it limited by any level of anxiety.

00:19:29.055 --> 00:19:37.835
And these will cause anxiety, like the sound guy can't get your mic on right or something like that, and there's all technical difficulties.

00:19:37.835 --> 00:19:43.404
But I think one of the great things is when you ride through the technical difficulties.

00:19:43.404 --> 00:19:46.309
They admire you for that.

00:19:46.309 --> 00:19:52.428
They admire you for your acceptance that that's what happened and just roll with it.

00:19:52.835 --> 00:20:05.182
You know, I came on stage once with my fly half down and the wire for the mic running through my fly up onto my shirt, and I just said hang on a second.

00:20:05.182 --> 00:20:06.666
Folks my wires out.

00:20:06.666 --> 00:20:18.063
And I turn around and and take the wire and rewire myself with the mic and it just like, and then I and they're laughing at me and and, but I'm, I'm laughing with them.

00:20:18.063 --> 00:20:20.674
It's like this is ridiculous, but this has happened.

00:20:20.674 --> 00:20:29.645
But it was so rushed backstage they were announcing me while the guy was micing me and it's like, and they're like, well, where's fred?

00:20:29.645 --> 00:20:31.375
Like give me a second?

00:20:31.375 --> 00:20:32.336
Um.

00:20:32.336 --> 00:20:38.242
But when you can do that, you own that audience.

00:20:38.242 --> 00:20:43.428
Because you said I'm fine with it.

00:20:43.428 --> 00:20:47.031
I'm not taking on any embarrassment whatsoever.

00:20:47.031 --> 00:20:50.183
I'm enjoying this just as much as you are.

00:20:50.183 --> 00:20:52.840
So you don't have to be embarrassed for me, because I'm not embarrassed.

00:20:54.664 --> 00:20:55.205
I love that.

00:20:55.205 --> 00:20:56.107
It's so funny.

00:20:56.107 --> 00:21:00.086
I don't know if I can handle it quite that well, but I got to practice a whole lot more and that's what I sense.

00:21:00.086 --> 00:21:02.377
Even you think about the uncommon leader.

00:21:02.377 --> 00:21:11.239
It's doing common things over and over again until they just become part of who you are, and I think that's what it takes even for boldness is.

00:21:11.239 --> 00:21:13.924
It just takes some action to get you there.

00:21:13.924 --> 00:21:16.419
And really, again, I love the techniques.

00:21:16.419 --> 00:21:24.984
I think folks need to kind of pick up a copy of the book and go through that acronym, that pride acronym, and walk through each one of those and learn those techniques and it cause.

00:21:25.025 --> 00:21:46.454
It can be as simple as standing up in front of that a family reunion and talking to family and still getting that nervous and being bold to go forward, but to to really think about meeting someone that you want to meet and you know you have that moment, that opportunity that gets there, and you clam up when you get beside them and, to your point, you end up taking that uncomfortable selfie and miss an opportunity to build a relationship.

00:21:46.454 --> 00:21:51.627
So who'd have known that a torn Achilles tendon would have led to that much breakthrough?

00:21:51.627 --> 00:21:54.221
I want to ask there was one thing in your bio.

00:21:54.221 --> 00:21:55.005
That I thought was kind of fun.

00:21:55.005 --> 00:21:56.618
It says you were a question.

00:21:56.618 --> 00:21:59.265
One of your claims to fame is your question on Jeopardy.

00:21:59.265 --> 00:22:00.166
Tell me about that one.

00:22:00.796 --> 00:22:02.941
That didn't take a little while as well.

00:22:02.941 --> 00:22:04.685
That was totally out of my hands.

00:22:04.685 --> 00:22:13.756
They, just because I was in my company, was 1-800-DENTIST.

00:22:13.756 --> 00:22:21.019
That I started with a friend of mine and we ran it for 25 years and so I was in the commercials for about 15 years and so it was.

00:22:21.019 --> 00:22:25.021
They had a Jeopardy category that was 800 number.

00:22:25.021 --> 00:22:38.130
So it was Fred Joyle shines his pearly whites in this TV commercial and the quest, the question, is uh, what is one 800 dentist?

00:22:38.130 --> 00:22:40.131
But I had nothing to do with it.

00:22:40.570 --> 00:22:48.005
Now the the the bold thing I did do on television was I went on are you smarter than a fifth grader?

00:22:48.005 --> 00:22:51.016
And I answered.

00:22:51.016 --> 00:22:52.137
I went for the last question and lost all the money.

00:22:52.137 --> 00:22:56.587
I went for the $250,000 and didn't even understand the question.

00:22:56.587 --> 00:22:59.217
But this is okay.

00:22:59.277 --> 00:23:09.971
So the transformation as you get to super boldness is trying and failing feels better than not trying.

00:23:09.971 --> 00:23:37.695
Let me say that again Trying and failing will feel better than not trying, because you don't have a regret, you don't have that gnawing at you that you didn't try and you just say, wow, there's some information in here that went really badly or that was unexpectedly unfortunate rather than the outcome I was hoping for, but at least I stepped up and that's.

00:23:37.695 --> 00:23:46.236
You can live with that and what happens is you'll get bolder, you'll get stronger, you'll increase your comfort zone.

00:23:46.236 --> 00:23:54.740
That's why one of the D in the pride method is dosage Control the intensity of your venture into your discomfort zone.

00:23:55.221 --> 00:24:02.909
Don't go leaping, you know, like if you say I want to start meeting people, don't go to a party of 200 people that you don't know.

00:24:02.909 --> 00:24:04.255
You'll meet nobody.

00:24:04.255 --> 00:24:09.424
So start talk to talk to somebody in line at starbucks.

00:24:09.424 --> 00:24:10.426
Start there.

00:24:10.426 --> 00:24:21.663
And my book is full of those exercises that stage people up from very simple things to you're smiling at a stranger to eventually doing some really crazy stuff.

00:24:21.663 --> 00:24:26.916
But over time to build your boldness muscle, just like a muscle.

00:24:26.916 --> 00:24:32.286
You build it gradually, not in giant leap folks, you guys, you hit that stuff.

00:24:32.306 --> 00:24:33.388
You gotta hit the rewind a couple.

00:24:33.388 --> 00:24:46.030
But I love that trying and failing transformational moment is trying when trying and failing feels better than not trying at all, and I think you know you hear that and you do.

00:24:46.070 --> 00:24:52.030
You have to listen to that twice, because regret is a, is a dish that, frankly, is best left unserved.

00:24:52.030 --> 00:24:52.952
There's no doubt about it.

00:24:52.952 --> 00:24:58.915
And too many times we get those opportunities and we look back and we're like was, was that?

00:24:58.915 --> 00:25:01.343
Was that one of those opportunities that I just missed?

00:25:01.343 --> 00:25:03.689
Uh, to have something happen in my life.

00:25:03.689 --> 00:25:04.210
That's different.

00:25:04.210 --> 00:25:08.669
There's a reason that the windshield, uh, is a lot bigger than the rear view mirror.

00:25:08.669 --> 00:25:09.811
There's no doubt about it.

00:25:09.811 --> 00:25:11.423
Don't get too busy, keep looking forward.

00:25:11.423 --> 00:25:14.529
Fred, speaking of looking forward, what do you got going on now?

00:25:14.529 --> 00:25:15.131
What's next?

00:25:15.131 --> 00:25:16.354
What's the next book?

00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:22.088
You know, I think that the next book is similar to Super Bold.

00:25:22.340 --> 00:26:11.291
I think it's going to be shorter and it's going to be the skills for success, how boldness can enhance every aspect of your Life, and it really talks about how do you meet people, how do you have those conversations with strangers, how do you take the time to build your boldness muscle on a daily basis and with real examples of people saying had I not asked for the money this way from this person, I wouldn't have my business today, had I not given the eulogy for my father when the priest actually said we're not allowing you to speak in church.

00:26:12.193 --> 00:26:14.496
That would have gnawed at me the rest of my life.

00:26:14.496 --> 00:26:16.105
So I stepped up.

00:26:16.105 --> 00:26:25.853
It's people stepping up and not stacking your regrets, and there could be really small things or they could be meeting the partner of your dreams.

00:26:25.853 --> 00:26:47.348
And I want people to know that life is short and it's too short to let other people decide what you're capable of and and or to blame other people for your unhappiness or to think you're going to get to your dreams tomorrow or the next day or when you have more time.

00:26:47.348 --> 00:26:50.413
It's going to pass you by.

00:26:50.413 --> 00:26:52.022
Seize the moments.

00:26:52.022 --> 00:27:00.279
Don't just seize the day, seize the moments, love that, brett, I've enjoyed our conversation today.

00:27:00.560 --> 00:27:02.025
I want to honor your time as well.

00:27:02.025 --> 00:27:05.446
Just as much, I want to know how can folks stay in touch with you.

00:27:05.446 --> 00:27:07.006
Where do you want me to go to stay in touch with you?

00:27:07.681 --> 00:27:12.727
The easiest way is BrettJoylecom, that's J-O-Y-A-L.

00:27:12.727 --> 00:27:23.328
You can find out more about me and my book and you can even download the exercises there if you want, or read the first chapter.

00:27:23.328 --> 00:27:44.564
The book's available on Amazon in hardcover, kindle and Audible, and it's me reading it, so you get to listen to me driving these points home, to listen to me driving these points home, and if you want me as a speaker, you can request a 30-minute conversation with me right there on the website and we'll see what kind of impact I could have on your team.

00:27:45.929 --> 00:27:46.941
Love that, fred.

00:27:46.941 --> 00:27:49.509
I've enjoyed the conversation today, no doubt about it.

00:27:49.509 --> 00:27:50.250
I hope you have as well.

00:27:50.250 --> 00:27:52.307
I know folks are going to find value in what you had to say.

00:27:52.307 --> 00:27:54.426
I'll finish you up with the last question.

00:27:54.426 --> 00:27:59.288
You may have shared a lot of these already, but let's see what comes out.

00:27:59.288 --> 00:28:03.163
I'm going to give you a billboard and you can put any message you want to on it to convey to the folks who are listening and others.

00:28:03.163 --> 00:28:05.691
What's the message you put on that billboard and why?

00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:16.814
So it's, we've talked about it, but I think I would really want to say never be the one stopping you.

00:28:22.104 --> 00:28:32.611
How many times do we stop ourselves when we're just one step, one question, one conversation away from greatness in terms of what you're going through?

00:28:34.020 --> 00:28:44.452
And fun and adventure and satisfaction, fulfillment, just unique experiences.

00:28:44.452 --> 00:29:04.813
We miss out on so much in life and I don't want that to happen to people and I want them to step up when it matters most, whether it is giving a eulogy, or it's launching that business or meeting that person that they really think might be the mate they've been dreaming of.

00:29:04.813 --> 00:29:08.182
I want them to step up, I want them to speak up.

00:29:10.470 --> 00:29:10.990
Thank you, fred.

00:29:10.990 --> 00:29:12.765
Wish you the best.

00:29:12.765 --> 00:29:15.803
Hope we can stay in touch, okay, thank you John.

00:29:15.823 --> 00:29:16.285
Wish you the best.

00:29:16.285 --> 00:29:17.288
Hope we can stay in touch.

00:29:17.288 --> 00:29:17.730
Okay, Thank you, John.

00:29:17.730 --> 00:29:22.848
We will, and that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:29:22.848 --> 00:29:23.991
Thanks for tuning in today.

00:29:23.991 --> 00:29:31.470
If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared.

00:29:31.470 --> 00:29:38.088
Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform.

00:29:38.088 --> 00:29:45.949
Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of uncommon leaders.

00:29:45.949 --> 00:29:49.068
Until next time, go and grow champions.