Strengthening Bonds: A Father-Daughter Journey Through Love, Leadership, and Legacy

Transcript

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Be present, like in as bold, big, highlighted letters as possible.

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For me, being present is something that is so tough for me to do, but it's the most rewarding thing, and I'm only 28, and there's so many of my years where I wish I was just more present and less distracted and just a better listener, a better friend, whatever it is, and it's so much easier to disconnect and to be distracted than it is to be present.

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Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.

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This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast and I'm your host, john Gallagher.

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Today I've got a truly uncommon episode lined up for you.

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Joining me are my friends and father-daughter tandem, tom and Christine Carmazzi, to discuss their newly released book I Love you.

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More Than a heartfelt story of the uncommon bond between father and daughter, the interview dives into their unique and intentional relationship, marked by open and respectful communication through daily emails that started during a chaotic ski trip amidst a pandemic.

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In this episode, christine shares impactful childhood stories that shaped her journey, while Tom explains how his recurring email closing line inspired the book title.

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The Carmazzi's unveiled a thoughtful framework of their book, designed to inspire intentional relationship building and nurturing connections.

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So buckle up and get ready to explore the intentionality of a father-daughter bond that transcends the ordinary.

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It's the definition of uncommon.

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Let's get started.

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Christine and Tom Carmazzi, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

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What a treat this is.

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I can't wait to have the conversation today about your book that's coming out real soon.

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How are you guys doing today?

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Oh, fantastic.

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Yeah, thank you for having us.

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Absolutely.

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Again, I'm pretty excited about the conversation, Christine.

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Your dad has been on a couple of times already, so he gets a pass on the first question, but you don't.

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This is your first time and I asked the same question to all my first time guests and we'll start you off with that question, just to get you loosened up a little bit.

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Tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are today as a leader.

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Tom, you can close your ears if you want to.

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Oh no, yeah, no, my dad has seen all of it.

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Yeah, john, if you don't mind, I'm gonna tell like two stories one oh yeah, from kindergarten, right?

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so you know kindergarten, what.

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You're like six years old and, uh, we're learning how to tell time.

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We're looking at a clock, looking at a digital clock, and so we're kind of going okay, six o'clock is this on the face, six o'clock or 12 o'clock is this on the face?

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And this girl who's sitting in front of me turns around and sticks her tongue out at me and I'm like well, I'm gonna stick my tongue out back at her because like what is this?

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And instantly the teacher sees me stick my tongue out and puts me in timeout and I am like shocked, like sobbing, like trying to, you know, state my case, like no, no, no, no, she stuck her tongue out first.

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And the teacher's like I don't care, you're in timeout.

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Shocked, like sobbing, like trying to you know, state my case of like no, no, no, no, no, she stuck her tongue out first.

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And the teacher was like I don't care, you're in timeout for 30 minutes, like all this sort of stuff.

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So I was just like okay, so this is what life is like, life is.

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Life is not fair.

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I need to take accountability, like sure, someone did this thing first, but you know, that's, that's now.

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You know this is my problem to bear now.

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So it really kind of taught me from a very early age of, like girl, you better be accountable for your own actions, because these are the repercussions and you know there's no way you can really kind of sweep those off.

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So, yeah, I was definitely a pretty spunky child, very bold, very sassy.

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So I wish I could say that that one lesson kind of like nipped in the bud, but definitely did not.

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But so that was kind of like six years old and then flash forward to 18, I started out my undergraduate career at University of Oregon.

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I didn't know anyone you know, moving from the suburbs of Chicago all the way career at University of Oregon I didn't know anyone you know, moving from the suburbs of Chicago all the way out to Eugene, oregon.

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I was like, okay, what are my best chances of kind of making friends here?

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So I enrolled in like a one week free semester backpacking it's called like the Wilderness Institute for Leadership Development.

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Backpacking it's called like the Wilderness Institute for Leadership Development.

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And what really really allowed me to hone in my leadership skills there was like we had this day.

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We were backpacking along the Oregon coast all sand, all sand dunes.

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So every step you take.

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It's like trying to take like two steps and you're kind of going back.

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And it was just day after day of this we got to a stopping point where we had to cross a river like an inlet, and so you know, with the tides being low, that crossing is going to be a little bit easier.

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As the tides come up, you know, you're going to be like waist deep in some water.

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So we had just on a really long day of backpacking through the sand.

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Everyone's exhausted but we have this kind of like shining star of a campsite that we can make it to if we go another five miles, like there's no sand.

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It's like being described as like this oasis, like it's just supposed to be beautiful.

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So the leader kind of looked at me and was like Christine, what should we do?

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Should we wait for low tide or should we do it now and should we get to that oasis?

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And I'm looking around and he's like no, this is your decision, like you're going to be the one deciding what we're going to do as a group.

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So, um, you know, kind of weighing in how the team was doing, I was just like I think we can do it.

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You know we're going to hit this at high tide, we're going to get to time.

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It was like, not only am I taking that accountability piece from when I was six, but now like wow, okay, 18, I'm impacting other people's lives and my own, um, and being able and confident enough to be okay with that decision and knowing that, you know whatever outcome it is, I made that I'm accountable for that Um.

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So that was just a really really, uh, transformative experience for me, and I'm really really glad that, um, that backpacking trip happened, cause, again, it's just kind of shaped me to be who I am today.

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So yeah, I love that I'm sticking your tongue out to leading, right how?

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that was the.

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That was the uh catalyst for leading from taking responsibility for your actions and making those decisions.

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Fun stories, and I can't wait to talk about a few more.

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As we talk about, actually, your book that's coming out.

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I Love you More Than a heartfelt story of a father and his daughter and their uncommon way of connecting.

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So I love the title, obviously because you throw the word uncommon in there it's the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

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But, tom, I'll start with you.

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When you think about just the title of the book, tell me about the title and what that means with regards to when someone opens those pages up and starts to read it and starts to read it Well.

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so initially our email quote exchange didn't have that phrase in it.

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But I would say I don't know exactly, but probably at the end of the first year I would end every one of my quote slice messages to Christine with I love you more than, and the I love you more than the rest of that after the dot, dot, dot would be something out of that quote.

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You know to in essence bring that quote to life in my love for Christine, and it was also trying to convey that what love really is and how almost exponential it is.

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You know I love you more than.

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You know giving your all, it's like I love you more than what becomes possible.

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When I give my all, it's like whoa, that's pretty big Holy cow.

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So so that's you know, gosh.

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Now there's probably I don't know Christine, maybe 600 emails out there that have as a closing line I love you more than, and.

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So it just became the title of the book.

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It just naturally flowed.

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No, I appreciate that and I can't wait to talk about that framework that got you started, christine.

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What was the catalyst for you to kind of turn?

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Talk about that framework that got you started, christine.

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What was the catalyst for you to kind of turn it into a book?

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So you had these stories, you had these emails, this, this back and forth conversation and connection with your dad, and again we'll talk about the depth of what that means in terms of how you all did that.

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But when you thought about putting it into a book, what did you?

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What did you go through in your mind and your heart?

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Yeah, that's a really great question, um, you know, it was, truthfully, a lot of the conversations I've been having with some of my peers or you know friends, like no one has this relationship that I do with my dad.

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I feel it's so special, right, um, and this interaction that my dad is intentionally doing day after day after day after day and I am accepting that call, so to speak, day after day after day.

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It's like this is very, very unique that my dad and I have, and the spirit of writing the book is just like why not have this relationship with your family or you know a friend?

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Like it's something that does take effort, yes, but it's been so rewarding and I really wouldn't know how to jumpstart those conversations, um, without really having this.

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Like it's not a textbook, but it kind of is.

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It's like, okay, here's something in copy that shows what we've been doing, and like, yes, it is possible for someone else to kind of adopt the same methodologies.

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So really, I mean, yeah, twofold, like one just recognizing that there are a lot of broken families, a lot of families that don't put in the energy, um, and two really wanting to have that like legacy, so to to speak of like no, this is on paper, like all these emails my dad and I have been exchanging back and forth.

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Might one day, you know, blow up with the internet, who knows?

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But we have like a physical copy that is just like a testament to this relationship which is so special.

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So no, I love that, and I think the word that I sensed and I had written down in part of my notes as a question was very intentional in terms of how that got started.

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So you know, this book is, you know, at least broken down, if you will, into 13 learnings, and there are many more, but these are 13 learnings you picked out of those kind of 600 emails that won Tom, tell me what made you start to send the first one, the first email that went out, what was there, I mean, and what's the framework and what you were looking for?

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So, you know, I just so I retired at the end of 2019.

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And part of my reward for that was to go on this two-and-a-half or three-month ski trip.

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You know, just really punch out, and that was wonderful.

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Well, during that ski trip, right towards the end of it, covid hit and they literally started closing resorts.

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And that was interesting.

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It was a real shock.

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It was at that magnitude.

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I wasn't afraid of getting COVID.

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I felt I was healthy enough that I could, you know, take it physically.

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But when they started closing ski resorts, it's like holy cow, this is real.

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So I get home and Christine is, you know, literally on the other side of the United States.

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Christine is literally on the other side of the United States and I'm thinking that I want some way to reach out to her.

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That doesn't feel like I'm caretaking her, like I'm worried about her.

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She can't handle this.

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It's like I just want it to be some little email quote that I send, quote that I send.

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And the intentionality was, from my point of view, the leadership in Washington was going a little wacky, I mean, it was chaotic, and so I wanted to send to Christine a quote from one of our forefathers that showed that we were founded on wisdom.

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We were founded on yes, it was a chaotic time, but we kept our cool and worked our way through it.

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And so I wanted to send a quote which was from someone she would recognize and it really was a foundational item that says this is really what America is about.

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And I thought I just can't send this cold quote.

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I got to kind of give well, what's my perspective on that?

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And I sent it.

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And I wasn't waiting for something back, it was more like I just want her to know I'm here and I want her to know that this country, you know, is founded on some fundamentals that still exist today, although someone may question if they do.

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And so I sent that off and literally it wasn't like I'm sitting by my computer, it wasn't like that at all.

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I was just sitting there and I don't know, three or four hours later, you know, bink in comes this reply and like whoa?

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So initially it wasn't every day, it was like maybe two or three times a week, but I'd say within three or four months they were coming out Monday through Friday and Christine would respond.

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So yeah, love how that got started, christine.

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You received the first one Like what's going through, what's what's going through your mind, as you received the very first email that comes over.

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It's like this is so typical, dad, like everything about this is like so typical it was.

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It was very welcomed, though.

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It was very reassuring and comforting.

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My dad and I have always had this very open relationship where we can kind of chat about anything.

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We might not come together at the end and be like, oh, I agree with your viewpoint and I'm going to adopt that viewpoint.

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It's more just like there's a safe space to speak our minds.

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Whatever is said is going to be in a respectful way, and so when this quote comes through, it was very much so like.

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You know, it wasn't unexpected kind of a thing.

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I'm like this is something DAPA do, but it was just that reassurance piece of like someone is thinking about me and caring about me and reaching out and being like hey, is everything okay?

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And even though the world is kind of crazy right now, here are some like tethers to reality, that like we're not going to just be victims and like be like sitting by ourselves upset.

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It's like no, no, no, there are great things that have happened and will happen, and just those reminders were really, really nice to have.

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So I was very, very grateful, but, yeah, definitely not surprised.

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Well, I think, I think that that says a lot.

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I mean, look, I'll just embarrass, embarrass time right off the bat, because I know you've seen it, because it was in the book.

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Christine, you saw your dad as your best friend and it sounds like that was part of that growing up as well but also a father and a mentor, caring but did not caretake.

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But he also expected independence, tom, those areal words, those are words that you hear sort of at the end, not even during, sometimes as a father or as a friend or as a mentor.

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How do those words strike you when you read them and when you hear them?

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uh, well, they're very honoring, uh, and, and it, it's, it's, it's what I want.

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Um, and I, always, that little inner critic keeps telling me you know, you're not there yet.

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Oh, and guess what you did today?

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Oh, geez, you know, how can you ever get to that point if you just did this or that?

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And so you know.

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You talk about that intentionality.

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I would say that's my intention is to have that kind of a relationship, especially with our children, you know, I mean, and with my spouse, with Deb.

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So to hear that played back to me warms my heart.

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I mean, it's a good day, it's a good day yeah.

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Yes it is.

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I think it's the greatest story ever told, but that's all I talk about in terms of when those people that are closest to you love and honor you the most.

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It's pretty powerful.

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So I just I just want to honor you in that as well, and you too, Christine, for being bold enough to share that with your story.

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It's something that I strive for as well as a dad, as a mentor to hear those words many times.

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So thank you for sharing that inside of the book.

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The book's framework really talks about how you did these emails and you talked about the format.

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It starts out with a quote explaining who it was, and then your perspective and then the volley, if you will, starts to occur.

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Each of the pages in the book is kind of reflection on those stories or an awareness that you had, and maybe some of your favorites, like our story or fear or freedom your favorites like our story or fear or freedom.

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There's one specifically that touched me and I don't even know if I can remember kind of the theme or the name of that chapter.

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But, Christine, if I ask you, what do you do for a living?

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Tell me about that just a little bit.

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Yeah, it's one of those questions you hear like every day, or if you're meeting someone, new networking, whatever it might be sitting next to someone on an airplane, like just kind of that casual, universal question that we all love to ask.

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Yeah, my dad has really.

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I've become like a convert of like hating that question, mostly because of my dad so, and I've definitely put my foot in my mouth asking someone that question or something along those lines.

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So so, yeah, what do you do for a living?

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I've learned it's putting someone in a box.

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I've been put in a box because when people ask me that question, I mean we are all humans, right, when we have conversations, there are thoughts going through our minds.

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So as soon as I say what I mean we are all humans, right, when we have conversations, there are thoughts going through our minds.

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So as soon as I say what I do, that other person is making assumptions about me, and same, you know, same for me.

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If I ask someone what they do for a living, even if I really try not to do it, my brain just instantly goes to start thinking about different little biases or assumptions or whatever, and I just hate that.

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So, um, yeah, I will expand a little bit about how I put my foot in my mouth with that.

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I I was in college and I went to a house party and I didn't really know a lot of people as with my now husband, um, and so he's super social and I'm like, well, I'm going to try to make an effort and try to mingle as well.

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So I go up to someone and it's not exactly what do you do for a living, but it was, oh, where do you, where do you go to college?

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And he's like looking at me, he's like I don't go to college.

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And I'm like, like my brain like instantly shut down and there's nothing wrong with not going to, like, you know, undergraduate.

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But for some reason I just had this script already laid out in my brain of what I was going to ask, how they were going to reply, and I just realized like that is just really doing a disservice to this person, to a potential, you know, friendship that could be made.

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And it's who is that really serving?

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Um, what is the real agenda behind that?

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That question, so question, so yeah, I definitely learned my lesson there, but yeah, it's one of those things I've just I've found almost any other question to spark a conversation other than what do you do for a living?

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Because it's just.

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It's one of those things.

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I don't want to be put in a box and I don't want to put other people in the box.

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Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share something special with you.

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Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations.

00:20:12.027 --> 00:20:25.430
If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me.

00:20:25.430 --> 00:20:33.432
It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team.

00:20:33.432 --> 00:20:36.166
Okay, let's get back to the show.

00:20:39.541 --> 00:20:39.963
I love that.

00:20:39.963 --> 00:20:49.950
I appreciate how you shared, especially in terms of meeting your now husband and some of the things that you went through, that I don't go to college Like it's like I mean from a feeling standpoint.

00:20:49.950 --> 00:21:02.029
As you said, you shut you down right off the bat, but as we learn as humans and really opening up those questions that allow you to learn more about those individuals can be so powerful.

00:21:02.029 --> 00:21:08.605
Look as you all kind of went through each of those learnings and you volley back and forth with the conversations.

00:21:08.605 --> 00:21:18.509
I just I love how I've learned from you, prior to hitting record on the call today, that you weren't really sitting next to each other as you wrote those stories and how it's been assembled.

00:21:18.509 --> 00:21:23.372
You end each of those learnings with some reflective questions.

00:21:23.372 --> 00:21:29.079
Tom, tell me about the intention behind ending with reflection questions For the reader.

00:21:29.079 --> 00:21:30.683
I'm sure there's something there that you want.

00:21:32.789 --> 00:21:33.049
Yeah.

00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:45.734
So I know that I was blessed with mentors that would, after an event or after a story, would say something like, and what's there for you?

00:21:45.734 --> 00:21:57.605
And that open-ended nature, that non-leading nature, really had me think at a much deeper level, versus saying something like, well, didn't you like that story, tom?

00:21:57.605 --> 00:22:02.214
It's like, yeah, it was cool, but I don't think past that question.

00:22:02.214 --> 00:22:24.631
So these learnings, these 13 learnings let's just call them, each one of those is an exploration of Christine and I's relationship and maybe through that reading, there might be something there that if Christine and I ask at the end an open and non-leading question, maybe they'll find something there for them as well.

00:22:25.452 --> 00:22:34.214
And that's really, you know the intention of it, the spirit of it.

00:22:34.214 --> 00:22:38.663
It's just maybe help the learning Love that, christine, when I think about the book test, that is you know kind of.

00:22:38.663 --> 00:22:40.086
You know folks get your book and I think folks should.

00:22:40.086 --> 00:22:52.811
We're going to put the link to the website of where they can find it and go out and buy a copy or multiple copies, cause we'll talk about actually I think it's going to impact not just father-daughter relationships but intentional relationship building, among others.

00:22:52.811 --> 00:22:58.863
After they've read the book you know the book test is it sits up on a bookshelf, just like behind me.

00:22:58.863 --> 00:23:07.512
A year later they see the backing of that book, or maybe it's on the front what do you want them to think after they've read that book, a year later?

00:23:07.512 --> 00:23:10.127
And when they see that book binding, what do you want them to think?

00:23:10.127 --> 00:23:13.863
Or even, what do you want them to do when they read your book?

00:23:15.905 --> 00:23:28.366
I would love for our book to be a reminder of maybe, maybe a little poke, to say hey, maybe you should reach out to your parents or your friend or your cousin, whoever it is.

00:23:28.366 --> 00:23:42.496
Um, it's more of I want it to be kind of a feeling to connect, versus more of like a concrete thought, but just that feeling of I want to reach out, I want to foster relationships.

00:23:42.496 --> 00:23:48.951
Um, the the book itself is very colorful, so it's, you know, really happy colors.

00:23:48.951 --> 00:23:53.070
I just want that feeling to come across whenever someone sees it on their shelf.

00:23:55.482 --> 00:23:56.211
Love that, Tom.

00:23:56.211 --> 00:23:56.676
What about you?

00:23:56.676 --> 00:23:56.940
What do you?

00:23:56.940 --> 00:23:59.548
What do you want folks to feel after they've read the book?

00:24:00.580 --> 00:24:02.125
So you said one year out.

00:24:02.686 --> 00:24:03.388
Yeah, one year out.

00:24:03.608 --> 00:24:04.352
Yes, yeah.

00:24:04.352 --> 00:24:14.394
So this would be that they look up there and they see it and they say that's where it started.

00:24:14.394 --> 00:24:18.941
That's where it started, you know.

00:24:18.941 --> 00:24:24.854
So meaning that that had them obtain really exposed.

00:24:24.854 --> 00:24:29.545
We had courage within all of us and that from that book boom.

00:24:29.545 --> 00:24:41.865
Today I have this outstanding relationship with John Doe that I cherish so much and that all started with I love you more than Whoa whoa.

00:24:41.865 --> 00:24:42.728
There it is again.

00:24:44.340 --> 00:24:47.190
Tom, coach me how to get started.

00:24:47.190 --> 00:24:59.288
I'm sending text messages to my spouse, I'm sending text messages to my son or daughter and I'm just not getting any reply and I just I don't think it's getting through.

00:24:59.288 --> 00:25:03.570
Coach me through that in terms of you know, you talked about this already.

00:25:03.570 --> 00:25:08.707
It wasn't like you were waiting for a response back, but how do you get started and how do you stick with it?

00:25:10.852 --> 00:25:19.724
Well, for me, the key was that it had to be easy, because I knew what I didn't want.

00:25:19.724 --> 00:25:21.678
I didn't want this to be a one and done.

00:25:21.678 --> 00:25:23.917
I wanted this an ongoing relationship.

00:25:23.917 --> 00:25:37.787
So I wanted to pick something that was easy easy in terms of my mining of these quotes, easy in terms of the time commitment and also, quite frankly, I could just pour out my heart.

00:25:37.787 --> 00:25:41.236
I didn't have to do a whole lot of research on a given topic.

00:25:41.236 --> 00:25:45.714
And so that would be the first make it easy, make it easy.

00:25:45.714 --> 00:25:53.214
And then, secondly, you know, so it's easy, but it also has to be something that's of interest to you.

00:25:54.117 --> 00:25:55.441
And so I love these quotes.

00:25:55.441 --> 00:26:01.060
I mean, you know, they're just, you know, from Martin Luther King to Billie Jean King.

00:26:01.060 --> 00:26:05.156
I mean you know just a wide variety, but they're names that everyone knows.

00:26:05.156 --> 00:26:18.153
And so to bring those up and not just post them, but for me to explore, kind of beyond that sentence, beyond that word, what I might make up she was thinking, or he was thinking and go, what it meant to me.

00:26:18.153 --> 00:26:24.904
And then the last one is to not have an agenda.

00:26:24.904 --> 00:26:40.816
I mean, I'm just sending these quotes because I care about Christine, and just recently I've started sending them to our son, mike, and Mike's reply rate is a heck of a lot less, but that's okay.

00:26:40.816 --> 00:26:42.479
I mean really, it's just.

00:26:42.479 --> 00:26:49.069
I just want Mike to know I'm out here and here's a cool little quote and if he gets a chance to read it, he gets a chance to read it.

00:26:49.089 --> 00:26:50.192
If he doesn't.

00:26:50.192 --> 00:26:54.799
But it's just a little, a little ping, you know, beep, beep.

00:26:54.799 --> 00:27:03.673
So so to not be attached, you know, not like well, I don't get a reply that I'm going to stop this, no man, just just launch it.

00:27:03.673 --> 00:27:08.894
You know, and, and, and, christine and I used quotes, someone else could use something else.

00:27:08.894 --> 00:27:10.258
It's just whatever works for you.

00:27:10.258 --> 00:27:12.894
So it's funny.

00:27:12.933 --> 00:27:16.751
You say that a story that came to my mind just as you were going through, about not being attached.

00:27:16.751 --> 00:27:20.741
So raising two boys was one of those things that you know.

00:27:20.741 --> 00:27:28.373
Being affectionate with boys in public, you know, as a father and son, is not always recognized.

00:27:28.373 --> 00:27:29.977
You know the fist bump and the high five.

00:27:29.977 --> 00:27:31.560
That's kind of macho and that's what you do.

00:27:31.560 --> 00:27:35.329
But I had told them I won't, I won't kind of embarrass them in public.

00:27:35.329 --> 00:27:56.090
But if I stick my hand on top of their head and just rub their head as a check in with them, it was just my way of letting them know affectionately that I love them and it's something that is there, even with the zero response, because sometimes it's that persistence that there's going to be one of them that's going to be a catalyst that really makes a difference.

00:27:56.090 --> 00:27:58.035
And I think what you're doing again.

00:27:59.178 --> 00:28:17.664
I had read a book years back and the name of it was Everyone Communicates, few Connect, and that is, and even in your title, that is what you all have done, instead of just communicating with each other, connected with each other, with quotes and with perspectives, and providing you an opportunity.

00:28:17.664 --> 00:28:20.358
Again, it could be something different than a quote.

00:28:20.358 --> 00:28:28.364
It could be a Bible verse, it could be a picture or a photo from something that pops up on TimeHop that we continue.

00:28:28.364 --> 00:28:42.262
It could be a hashtag, whatever it is where we do our exercise and we check in Many different ways to be intentional about connecting, and I appreciate the intentionality that you all have done that with and with purpose to connect.

00:28:42.262 --> 00:28:44.696
We're coming up just a little bit on time.

00:28:44.696 --> 00:28:49.982
I want to honor your time, but I do have a few more things I just have to ask about, and I'll start with you, christine.

00:28:49.982 --> 00:28:53.480
I want to know about this emergency envelope.

00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:55.915
That was one of the stories that was in the book as well.

00:28:55.935 --> 00:29:01.016
Tell me about this, oh, yeah, so I still have it.

00:29:01.016 --> 00:29:12.457
When I went off to college at Oregon, my dad packs this, like you know, just a normal standard mailing envelope, but it is like taped shut.

00:29:12.457 --> 00:29:15.255
It's written emergency and big capital letters on it.

00:29:15.255 --> 00:29:19.763
It's got highlighter marker all over it Like, literally, do not open this thing.

00:29:19.763 --> 00:29:22.715
But this is going to be your life.

00:29:22.715 --> 00:29:30.112
And you know he's just like put this in a safe place, but not, like you know, don't hide it too much, cause when you move, you know you're going to want to remember it.

00:29:30.112 --> 00:29:31.875
And I still have that thing.

00:29:31.875 --> 00:29:37.528
So it has gone through, I'd say, at least 10 moves.

00:29:37.528 --> 00:29:43.670
I was moving a lot during my undergraduate career, so this thing has gone with me for a very, very long time.

00:29:43.670 --> 00:29:50.304
Yeah, so, since 2018, um, but it was one of those things where I kind of knew what was in it.

00:29:50.304 --> 00:29:53.439
To this point, I still haven't opened it, you haven't opened it yet, okay, so.

00:29:53.501 --> 00:29:54.306
I haven't opened.

00:29:54.306 --> 00:29:54.630
It was in it.

00:29:54.630 --> 00:29:58.157
To this point, I still haven't opened it, you haven't opened it yet okay, so I haven't opened it.

00:29:58.178 --> 00:29:58.557
That's years, wow.

00:29:58.557 --> 00:30:22.140
And I, I, the one thing I do know that I, I, um, I'm almost positive is in there, and dad correct me if I'm wrong but it is like a, um, like a maps view of how to get from Eugene Oregon to Linsdale, so from my college town to my hometown, like there's literally like every step of how to get home.

00:30:22.140 --> 00:30:31.757
So it is like emergency in that sense of hey, if I need to get home and for some reason I can't fly, I guess I'm walking and here's how to do it.

00:30:31.777 --> 00:30:32.298
Here's the way.

00:30:33.220 --> 00:30:33.540
Yeah.

00:30:33.560 --> 00:30:34.103
Here's the way.

00:30:34.103 --> 00:30:39.633
Yeah, that is awesome, right, tom?

00:30:39.633 --> 00:30:40.153
So what's in it?

00:30:40.153 --> 00:30:41.097
You're allowed to say what's in it.

00:30:41.097 --> 00:30:41.538
What is she right?

00:30:41.538 --> 00:30:42.682
Is that is that map in there?

00:30:45.273 --> 00:30:48.681
absolutely right in the spirit of that is you know, gps gets knocked out.

00:30:48.681 --> 00:30:52.114
Whatever you know it's like, let's just go to hard copy.

00:30:52.114 --> 00:30:56.182
Old old school, old school, you know, here's how you get home.

00:30:57.190 --> 00:30:57.571
Highlighted.

00:30:57.792 --> 00:30:58.455
Atlas pages.

00:30:58.750 --> 00:31:00.133
Do you know what an Atlas is, Christine?

00:31:00.133 --> 00:31:01.096
Have you ever used one of those?

00:31:01.096 --> 00:31:01.497
Okay?

00:31:02.278 --> 00:31:05.877
You bet, you bet, and then there's cold hard cash.

00:31:05.877 --> 00:31:09.200
I mean because you know, let's say, the credit card isn't working or whatever.

00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:12.013
It's like hey, you know, you got a map, you got cash.

00:31:12.013 --> 00:31:15.419
You it's like hey, you know, you got a map, you got cash.

00:31:15.419 --> 00:31:18.682
You know, pointer east, you know, get on home.

00:31:19.644 --> 00:31:20.365
So that's, great.

00:31:23.230 --> 00:31:24.071
Yeah, that's, that's the key components.

00:31:24.492 --> 00:31:25.034
That's funny.

00:31:25.034 --> 00:31:28.820
All right, speed round and you almost got to have your buttons here.

00:31:28.820 --> 00:31:29.563
So we have some fun.

00:31:29.563 --> 00:31:37.202
I'm going to go away from the book a little bit, but this is a little father-daughter kind of truth, or false.

00:31:37.202 --> 00:31:40.476
Who's the better skier?

00:31:40.476 --> 00:31:43.012
Oh my dad.

00:31:43.012 --> 00:31:44.496
No, I see.

00:31:44.537 --> 00:31:49.734
No, no, no, definitely my dad.

00:31:49.734 --> 00:31:50.718
He gets into some.

00:31:50.718 --> 00:31:54.651
Oh okay, first of all, sheer amount of days skiing dad wins Also.

00:31:54.651 --> 00:31:55.307
Ability dad wins.

00:31:55.307 --> 00:31:55.465
Ab.

00:31:55.465 --> 00:31:56.037
Sheer amount of days skiing dad wins.

00:31:56.037 --> 00:31:56.211
Also ability, dad wins.

00:31:56.211 --> 00:31:59.219
Ability to handle the cold dad wins.

00:31:59.219 --> 00:32:01.395
So I think it's lights out.

00:32:01.395 --> 00:32:05.334
Dad's got that one, yeah okay Now.

00:32:05.354 --> 00:32:07.559
So, john, you got to ask who goes faster.

00:32:08.061 --> 00:32:12.440
Yeah, that's the story I've heard, Christine is that you're all about speed.

00:32:13.351 --> 00:32:14.214
I am speed demon.

00:32:14.731 --> 00:32:17.574
Yeah, I just have a vapor trail that I'm, that I'm following.

00:32:17.574 --> 00:32:20.602
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:32:20.602 --> 00:32:21.925
No, she's again.

00:32:21.925 --> 00:32:26.782
You know, I'm like skiing 15 times more than she does in a given year.

00:32:26.782 --> 00:32:31.796
Christine just shows up and does an amazing job, so she's got a real gift there all right.

00:32:31.855 --> 00:32:34.319
Who's better at pool billiards?

00:32:35.301 --> 00:32:43.266
oh, definitely my dad, we still keep on picking this stuff that I'm yeah that I'm good at.

00:32:43.467 --> 00:32:54.339
Okay, don't pick anything like running, hiking climbing.

00:32:54.480 --> 00:33:00.490
I was gonna say I don't know yeah who's a better cook?

00:33:00.510 --> 00:33:00.590
we?

00:33:00.631 --> 00:33:02.534
had a lot of practice who cooks better?

00:33:04.037 --> 00:33:09.512
christine, amen, yeah yeah yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm like a total cereal guy.

00:33:09.772 --> 00:33:15.156
Yeah, that's as far as I go but if you want like a greasy spoon breakfast, then my dad yes, he, he does.

00:33:15.250 --> 00:33:17.515
He does make a good breakfast, there's no doubt about that.

00:33:17.515 --> 00:33:23.403
Those blueberry pancakes and that bacon, that's good stuff, absolutely.

00:33:23.403 --> 00:33:24.474
And only the real syrup too.

00:33:24.474 --> 00:33:26.896
Don't be messing around with any sugar-free stuff.

00:33:26.896 --> 00:33:27.900
I'm going to be on a diet.

00:33:27.900 --> 00:33:30.798
Forget that stuff on breakfast, all right.

00:33:47.753 --> 00:33:48.094
Who was the?

00:33:48.094 --> 00:33:49.695
Who was the?

00:33:49.695 --> 00:33:50.196
Who was the?

00:33:50.196 --> 00:33:54.182
Um, when you think about how you all wrote this book, what, what were the?

00:33:54.182 --> 00:33:56.365
She couldn't see me with the tears in my eyes.

00:33:56.365 --> 00:33:58.333
You know, and and, uh.

00:33:58.333 --> 00:34:20.820
But you know there's a lot in that book of my journey from, you know, figures to faces, from head to heart, and uh, and and and so, um, and especially to be doing that, talking about experiencing even more of it with that journey with her, was extremely special to me and my uh emotions.

00:34:20.820 --> 00:34:25.139
Quite frankly, I was glad to be feeling them because much of my life I didn't feel much of that.

00:34:25.139 --> 00:34:26.592
So so it was pretty.

00:34:26.592 --> 00:34:28.115
It was pretty, it's pretty cool.

00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:32.224
Yeah, yeah, I would agree.

00:34:32.224 --> 00:34:47.326
You know, it was almost like going through the best therapy session you could ever have of all the amazing positive things that have happened in your life, with some humor like speckled in, and it was just like every week, you know, you get these constant reminders and these memories pulled back.

00:34:47.326 --> 00:35:06.900
Truthfully, the appreciation of what my dad has done for me and my family and our friends is just so amazing to think like this is my dad who is literally putting so much of his heart and energy and like making sure that, like, the people around him, feel that love.

00:35:06.900 --> 00:35:10.835
Yeah, it was just, it was wonderful.

00:35:10.835 --> 00:35:15.402
So I would do the experience again, you know, 10 times over.

00:35:15.402 --> 00:35:23.981
And now it's like we are at the culmination of it all, or at the end, and it's like this is the best reward after the best process, to have a copy of it.

00:35:23.981 --> 00:35:35.976
So, yeah, the best words I could use to describe it, it's just like, yeah, the most positive therapy session, week after week after week, emotional, but very, very joyful.

00:35:37.231 --> 00:35:46.773
Yeah, I love that in terms of saying to your point, when you put that book in your hands, that when it comes in and you're able to just kind of touch it and see the calm, that's going to be quite an emotional rush.

00:35:46.773 --> 00:35:59.777
I believe I've not written a book myself, although I do have visions of doing that, but I got to believe that's going to be a great moment and you mentioned it's kind of that culmination, the end.

00:35:59.777 --> 00:36:04.235
Look, I think when you think you're done, you've just begun.

00:36:04.235 --> 00:36:14.273
I think it's like the start of the story and your ability to share with others the power of what you've been through in terms of intentional relationship building.

00:36:14.273 --> 00:36:20.976
Speaking of touching that book, tom, where do you want folks to go to see this thing and get a copy of it?

00:36:21.971 --> 00:36:40.476
The release will be June 26th and they'll be able to get it out on Amazon, and so that is in terms of the book, and Christine and I have a website that says tomcarmazzicom, and so those would be the primary.

00:36:40.476 --> 00:36:48.963
You won't be able to get it until June 26th and it'll be out there on Amazon, so that's where they can grab it.

00:36:49.989 --> 00:36:50.771
Excellent.

00:36:50.771 --> 00:36:52.894
Look, christine, I have one more question for you.

00:36:52.894 --> 00:36:53.835
It's how I finish with all.

00:36:53.835 --> 00:36:54.677
I bookend my podcast with all.

00:36:54.677 --> 00:36:55.619
It's how I finish with all.

00:36:55.619 --> 00:36:56.519
I bookend my podcast with all.

00:36:56.519 --> 00:37:05.853
But I want to wish you all the best in the launch and I'll get this information out to as many as I can Listeners.

00:37:05.853 --> 00:37:06.875
I think you need to grab a copy of this book Again.

00:37:06.875 --> 00:37:15.085
The spirit behind this with regards to connecting intentionally and relationship building has the power to change our world.

00:37:15.085 --> 00:37:16.369
I believe that I really do.

00:37:16.369 --> 00:37:27.059
I've read through it three times now and I keep finding something new about it each time I go through it, so I encourage you to get out there and get a copy of it.

00:37:27.059 --> 00:37:32.106
Christine, I'm finishing you off with a traditional podcast question, though, and it's almost kind of.

00:37:32.106 --> 00:37:35.594
Maybe it's something tied to the book or maybe not, but I'm going to give you a billboard.

00:37:35.594 --> 00:37:36.757
You put it where you're in.

00:37:36.757 --> 00:37:38.079
You're in California now, right?

00:37:38.802 --> 00:37:39.824
Yes, southern California.

00:37:40.329 --> 00:37:44.827
Yeah, so you can put this billboard up wherever you want to out there in California.

00:37:44.827 --> 00:37:46.693
So millions of people see it on a daily basis.

00:37:46.693 --> 00:37:49.541
What's the message you would put on that billboard?

00:37:49.541 --> 00:37:52.519
You put any message you want to, and why would you put that message on there?

00:37:56.510 --> 00:37:58.072
any message you want to, and why would you put that message on there?

00:37:58.072 --> 00:38:00.458
Yeah, I would put be present, like in as bold, big, highlighted letters as possible.

00:38:00.458 --> 00:38:34.632
Um, for me, being present is something that is so tough, like so challenging for me to do, but it's the most rewarding thing, and I'm only 28 and there's so many of my years where I wish I was just more present and less distracted and just a better listener, a better friend, whatever it is, and it's so much easier to disconnect and to be distracted than it is to be present, and so a billboard that has that reminder right in your face sometimes is what I need.

00:38:34.632 --> 00:38:38.019
So that's what I would put Be present.

00:38:39.061 --> 00:38:40.630
Excellent, Christine.

00:38:40.630 --> 00:38:44.222
Tom, thank you very much for sharing with the listeners of the Uncommon Leader podcast.

00:38:44.222 --> 00:38:48.838
I wish you the best with the book launch and all the success you want in the future as well.

00:38:49.740 --> 00:38:50.181