The Alone Advantage: 10 Habits That Drive Crazy Success with Terri Savelle Foy

Speaker 1: 0:00

We're so busy we never spend time alone. But what I discovered through this was that successful people not only spend time alone, they actually schedule it and they protect their alone time, because that's where the habits are developed. So one of my big phrases that I learned was people are rewarded in public for what they practice in private. ["the Uncommon Leaders"].

Speaker 2: 0:27

Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back. This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast and I'm your host, john Gallagher. I'm thrilled to bring you a special guest on today's episode. I have the incredible Terri Savelle Foy joining us to share insights from her latest book, the Alone Advantage 10 Behind the Scenes Habits that Drive Crazy Success. In this insightful conversation, I had the opportunity to dive into Terri's personal journey, her childhood experiences and the impactful lessons that have shaped her into the Uncommon Leader she is today. She shares practical advice and powerful anecdotes that will leave you feeling motivated and ready to achieve your own success. So join me as we explore the habits that have driven her crazy success. Let's get started. Terri Savelle Foy, it is so great to have you on the Uncommon Leader Podcast as a guest. How are you doing today?

Speaker 1: 1:13

I'm doing great. It's an honor to be with you.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Well, I'm looking forward to it, and we're gonna get a chance to talk about your book, the Alone Advantage, and we'll dive into that pretty soon. But I wanna ask you a question that I asked all my first time guests on the podcast, and that's to tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are today as a person and as a leader.

Speaker 1: 1:33

Ooh boy, you really got me with that one right off the bat.

Speaker 2: 1:36

Right in. Yes, I don't wait.

Speaker 1: 1:39

Well, okay, the thing that stands out to me the most would be from my dad, who's a minister, and him teaching me because one time I wasn't feeling good and I was asking him to pray for me. And I remember my dad prayed for me but he said there's gonna come a day when you can't always rely on your father's faith to get you where you wanna go. To get results, you gotta learn to pray for yourself. And that stuck with me. I was seriously about five years old and I still remember that, that I've gotta learn to pray for myself and have my own relationship with God. So that just came to me.

Speaker 2: 2:12

But Well, good, I'm glad I came to you that and I appreciate that story and I think it again, it informs a little bit more about who you are and I will have introduced you. I mean, it's gonna be kind of fun on the podcast. But look, we're here today. I could go down some way different paths. We're here today to talk about your new book that sits right over there Behind my Soldier, the Alone Advantage 10, behind the Scenes Habits that Drive Crazy Success. I have enjoyed working my way through your book and I wanna talk about you know, ultimately, who did you write this book for and why write it now? You've authored many books. What brought this one out right now?

Speaker 1: 2:48

Yeah, you know. I heard someone say that you are most powerfully positioned to help the person you once were. Have you heard that before?

Speaker 2: 2:56

I'm gonna cross that question off my list right there. Yeah, rory Vaden said that absolutely. Brand Bill did absolutely. Yes.

Speaker 1: 3:01

Yes, and I think okay who I once was. I was a girl in a rut, didn't know what my dreams were, didn't know if God had any big dreams for me, just living day to day with no clear vision or goals and also very insecure, you know, didn't have a lot of confidence in what I felt I was supposed to do with my life. And so I'm speaking to that person who is at that place, going what is my purpose? How do I discover it? How do I build my self-image and set goals and go after them? I can show you how to do that.

Speaker 2: 3:34

That is so cool, and I mean, when I think about that as I go forward, that person was you right. I mean you write this almost and it feels like you write it to yourself, and when I read it, when I read the book, I feel like you were talking right to me as well in terms of some of the things that go forward. We'll dive into those habits here in a little bit. When you think about the implementation of those habits and you think about I'll use the term the simplicity of them not the simpleness, but the simplicity of some of those habits as leaders today, as humans, as you know, those who are trying to grow what are the things that prevent us from putting these things in place? What do you see as the barriers when you talk with individuals?

Speaker 1: 4:16

I think we get so overwhelmed and we're so busy anyway that we never make time to establish these habits. You know, if you had told me years ago I was going to write a book called the Alone Advantage, I would have been like you're crazy. That's called solitary confinement, that's punishment. But I discovered that that is the problem. We're so busy we never spend time alone. But what I discovered through this was that successful people not only spend time alone, they actually schedule it and they protect their alone time because that's where the habits are developed. So one of my big phrases that I learned was people are rewarded in public for what they practice in private. So it's what we do behind closed doors that leads to success in front of the crowd. So I believe it's scheduling time to be alone. Very simple, very practical, not getting overwhelmed with this, but from reading the book you can tell I'm very practical. Step one, step two. So scheduling.

Speaker 2: 5:19

So where do you have individual start? Where do you have them start when you're working with them?

Speaker 1: 5:22

Well, you know, I like okay, so I like to say it like this. So, from my life, you know, of course most of our big changes happen when we hit our own version of rock bottom, and mine happened in 2002, when I was separated from my husband. I'd been living paycheck to paycheck, no dreams for my life, no money in the savings account, paying my car note and my credit cards every month and I just it was my rock bottom. Where, what am I going to do with my life? Like, where do I go from here? I flew to New Orleans and to visit with a friend and her father, who's a minister. He spoke four words to me that just changed the whole course. He knew what I was going through and he just said you work on you, stop looking at everything around you, stop looking at your husband's problems. He said you work on you. So I got home from that trip and I started listening to Joyce Meyer and I heard her make this statement. She said God will change your circumstances. I thought, oh, thank you Lord, she said, but he'll change you first. Then I heard Jim Rohn, the great motivator, say if you want the future to change, you've got to change. I was like why is everybody pointing to me? But I took it to heart and I started working on me. So, if you want to know the first thing I did, I didn't have a life coach, I didn't have a success coach come and give me a growth track. I just got desperate for change and so I started with this. I said I'm going to make myself listen to a motivational, faith-building message every day for 21 days, because I thought you can break a habit and start a new one in 21 days. Now, keep in mind, I was so undisciplined at that time so I got some CDs, I got a, post it and literally wrote push play and put it on my bathroom mirror. That was my reminder. So I walked in there that first morning and saw oh yeah, push play. I push play and I start hearing messages, hearing messages while I'm getting ready. Now, keep in mind, it takes a long time to look like this. So that's a lot of messages, right? You have no idea.

Speaker 2: 7:30

So Sorry, are you kidding me? This takes me hours. I mean, come on, oh my Lord.

Speaker 1: 7:37

So you can imagine the time it takes, but I'm hearing messages every day. Well, during that first 21 hour or 21 day period, I heard John Maxwell make a statement that changed my life. He said if I could come to your house and just watch you for 24 hours, I could tell whether or not you're going to be a success or a failure. He said you pick the day, but let me just watch you from the moment you wake up until you go to bed that night. He said just by observing you in one day, I can tell him what direction your life is going to go. I thought how in the world could he tell this? But then he explained why. He said the reason I say that is because the secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. So I thought well, gosh, I'm not going to stop at 21 days. I went for 30 days of listening, then I went for two months, then I went for three months that was in 2002, and I have never stopped. Well, that led to other habits. Just by listening, I started learning nine other habits that successful people practice behind closed doors. So I'd love to share some more habits with you, if you wanna hear them.

Speaker 2: 8:51

I'm gonna be ready to talk about it. I love the picture of that CD. Look the picture I showed before we hit record of John Maxwell and I. So you and I have a shared mentor in terms of how's that. He gave me a CD in 2002, okay, and it had a statement of him. And then another organization, a coaching company, and that started me on the journey really becoming an executive coach, a consultant and what I do today from a purpose standpoint. So it's so funny and I just wrote in my weekly newsletter this week about back in I would say 99 when I started getting his little purple audio cassette tapes from the Enjoy Stewardship Club in terms of when he was still doing his pastor messages. So the timing of this in terms of understanding our conversation is probably not an accident as we go through, but I do. I wanna talk about more habits that we have, and let me first start with maybe the one that I thought was my favorite. I think you saved it for last and especially with being married to a fine lady from the South as well she is very good at telling me some of these ups, but your last one is get up. In my opinion, you saved that one for last and you asked the question have you had enough inside of that chapter? Tell me about the habit of get up and what that really meant for you, cause that one really hit me hard.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Yeah, that one. You know, I actually took that from a story in the Bible where Jesus, you know, healed a man who had just been waiting for 38 years for someone to come and help him. And you would think Jesus, the most compassionate man ever, would have said oh bless your heart, you've been laying there for 38 years, let me help you. But no, jesus, in his heart of compassion, said to the man get up, pick up your bed and walk. And when I read that I thought what could God be saying to us? You know, get up, pick up your music and sing. Get up, pick up the manuscript and write that book. Get up, pick up your bottom and get to the gym. I like to say that, but you know, it just made me realize that we can't sit around waiting for someone to come along and cheer us on and say your dreams aren't crazy. No, you have to become your own cheerleader and literally get up, take responsibility and get moving.

Speaker 2: 11:10

So yes, there's, a lot in that chapter. That is a couple of times when I let my wife read the book, she's gonna say I know what it should say suck it up, buttercup. That's what it should say in terms of the up that goes in there. So I know that's what she says that to me pretty often. Look in that same chapter, one of the things that was fascinating to me as well. At the end of that chapter you said get your old obituary ready. Yes, what was in that for you in terms of an exercise, cause I've done that before.

Speaker 1: 11:36

Yeah, so it really was. You know, like Steve and Covey said, begin with the end in mind. I had never given myself permission to dream. I was so insecure, I was in a rut. You know, I'm just so busy at the time Everybody's just always so busy that I never took time to seriously sit and think. Henry Ford said thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it. I had never just sat and thought what do I wanna do with my life? What does God want me to do? What are my dreams? And so getting the obituary ready was where I literally sat, and my little guest bedroom with my laptop, full of questions, full of doubt. But I just started imagining. What would I want people to say about me at my funeral? How did I live? Who did I impact? What would my daughter say? What would my husband say? And I just started writing as big and crazy as I possibly could. Well, you know, throughout the book I teach on goal setting and how to write your dreams and goals, and it's so amazing what happens when you finally take the time to grab some paper and a pen. I'm from Texas, so this is just a normal pencil, but you know, just taking the time to get your dreams out of your head and on paper, something powerful happens. It's like you've programmed the GPS in your car and now your life knows where to drive. And that's exactly what happened to me. The moment I started writing those big, audacious, ridiculous dreams, my life started moving in that direction. Hey, listeners.

Speaker 2: 13:13

I wanna take a quick moment to share something special with you. Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations. If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me. It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team. Okay, let's get back to the show.

Speaker 1: 13:50

Can I share a statistic with you real quick, Absolutely love stats. So this okay so this was in the chapter that I called Look Up, and that was where I teach you how to dream, how to start giving yourself that permission to dream. I don't know if you remember this, but there was a story in there from Dr David Cole from Virginia Tech. He did research on successful people and goal setting and he said he just walked up to random people on the street and he just asked him one question. He said what are your goals for life, like, what are your dreams? He said. 80% said I don't know. I don't have any. So think of 80% of people walking around with no dreams, no vision, no goals. That used to be me. 16% said I have some goals, but I've never written them down. 3% said I've written my goals at some point, but I don't know where they are. 1% said I have goals, I've written them down and I review them on a consistent basis. He said do you know who? The 1% were Millionaires. Every one of them were millionaires. And he said the clues they gave us is number one I have dreams. Number two I put them in writing. I don't leave them in my head. And number three I'm constantly looking at them. So I've you know where I learned this Right here Every morning Push play, and I would think, if Jim Perry can do this, katie Perry, arnold Schwarzenegger, if they can do this, why can't I do this and get results? It's amazing how the habits build on each other. You know, just by getting up in the morning and listening to messages, you start learning things. If successful people can do this and get results, then I'm going to do it. And then I would find out. Katie Perry and Oprah and Connor McGregor didn't come up with this. It came from God's word. He said write the vision, make it plain. So yeah, the obituary, that's the game changer.

Speaker 2: 15:48

That is absolutely, and when you can be intentional about writing that story while you're here, can be really powerful in terms of that story. Just let everybody know you're doing that as an exercise before they pick it up. Yes, start to think things right. And so another habit, then, and you touched this, reminder me, as you said, it was grow up, and you talked about the announcement that you made when you graduated you were done studying, you were done reading and all those things. I love that story about grow up. And so the story behind this one is what successful people do in traffic. Tell me about grow up and what that means to you now and what you do to continuously grow.

Speaker 1: 16:24

Yeah, yeah. So I was a college graduation from Texas Tech University. The whole family went to El Chico's to celebrate my graduation and I think I said the dumbest thing I've ever said. I announced the family I will never study again. I thought I've paid my dues. I graduated with honors. I will never pick up another book. Well, the sad thing is I backed up my dumb promise for 11 years of my life. So for 11 years, never read another book. I would wake up at the last minute to go to work. I would drive to the office, listen to music, dance in and sing and all the way to work I worked hard on my job, but then I would jump in the car, listen to music, come home, turn on the TV and just watch it for hours. I was more interested in watching other people live their dream than me go after mine when I hit rock bottom and I began listening to messages and I would hear things like successful people read 88% of the wealthiest people in the world read every single day. So I think, oh my goodness, I hate reading, but I thought I want my life to change. I've got to do this. So I picked up one book and started with one page and I set the alarm on my phone for 20 minutes and I just kept reading and it felt like torture at first. I kept checking the phone. But I did it again the next day and I did it again the next day and something surprising began to happen. The more I read, the more I began to learn. Of course, the more I learned, the more I began to earn the next 11 years of my life. Do you know what happened? I went from ghostwriting books for other people to authoring books. I went from attending conferences to speaking at conferences. I went from watching TV for hours to hosting a TV show. I like to say it like this I finally learned the key to success K-E-Y Keep educating yourself, keep educating yourself. Now you've probably heard this. I think it's interesting to share. Do you remember the story of Jim Rohn? Because you're a personal growth junkie. Jim Rohn tells that story of how, when he was struggling, he said he had pennies in his pocket, nothing in the bank. He's blaming everybody for where he was in life. And he said this wealthy mentor took him under his wings and began to teach him success. First thing he said was Jim, what you have at this moment in your life you have attracted by the person you've become. He said if you don't have much, perhaps you haven't become much. Now that's pretty offensive. That's just straight in your face. So Jim said, he held up his paycheck to that wealthy man and he said you don't understand. This is all they pay. His mentor said no, this is all they pay you. He said they pay others more, but this is what they pay you. But then he began to teach him. He said, jim, don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. He said don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. But then he made this statement and when I heard it, it literally changed my life. He said learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job, you'll make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune. That's exactly what happened. Within five years, jim Rome was a millionaire impacting millions of people. But that's what happened with me. I said I'm not going to stop this. If the secret of my future is in my routine, then I'm going to make this a daily routine. Every day, I'm going to read for 20 minutes Every day in traffic. You mentioned that Successful people 63% of the wealthiest people in the world use their drive time to listen, to grow as they go Real university. They call it right.

Speaker 2: 20:15

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:15

I thought I'm going to do that on my way to work, on my way home. On my way to work on my way home, I have learned more in traffic than I ever learned in college.

Speaker 2: 20:27

In traffic. Interestingly enough, I was in Chicago traffic when I heard that quote. You are the most powerful, you are the person that you are made to help was yourself. I can't remember the quote now. I said it. You said it right at the start you are the most powerful position to help the person that you used to be. I heard that while I was sitting in traffic on an Edmile and Rory Vaden podcast and I almost wrecked when I heard it, trying to get back to it and understand where I can get that. So I wouldn't forget it. But you're exactly right. I'm going to use that time that you have to make that happen. I'm curious because we could talk about. I don't want to talk about all 10. I want people to buy the book plus. We don't have enough time to talk about all 10. Is there one that you think people would say, terry, you're crazy for doing that habit on a regular basis? What is an uncommon or maybe a little bit unconventional habit that you have that has made you more successful?

Speaker 1: 21:18

Okay, this one's going to sound crazy. I believe it's habit. Number two in the book is clean up. That was the first instruction I felt like I received was to clean up my house, and I thought surely that's not what I'm supposed to do to be successful. But I began to discover that the way you do anything is the way you do everything. In other words, if you can't even get your house in order, how could you, when they get an organization in order? If your house is a mess, your leadership will be a mess. The way you do anything is the way you do everything. So as I began to learn that successful people are organized, they clean up their surroundings I thought, okay, I'm going to take this to heart. And I just started with one room, one section at a time, and I began getting it in order. But that's not all I did. As I was cleaning up again, I was listening to messages the whole time, listening to talks, listening to speeches. That began to change me from the inside out. Well, you'll see it in the book, but nine months after I got my house cleaned up, I was promoted as the CEO of an international organization overseeing eight offices around the world. Isn't that crazy. It's the way you do anything.

Speaker 2: 22:33

It's the way you do everything. And now you're talking about James Clear as well stacking habits too, when you listen to leadership development while you're doing another habit like cleaning or exercising or whatever that is, so it can be very exciting. Terry, you obviously spend at least 20 minutes a day reading. Do you have a favorite book that's impacted you the most on your development journey?

Speaker 1: 22:58

Definitely, I would say, my favorite personal growth success book would be the Success Principles by Jack Canfield. I don't know if you've read that, but I mean it's like that big.

Speaker 2: 23:09

I've heard people talk about it, yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:11

At first I thought this is overwhelming, but it's, you know, 20 minutes a day and, yeah, it definitely caused my thinking to come up higher Highly recommended.

Speaker 2: 23:21

I'm going to look that one up because I've had that one in my mind but not on my list. I need to get there. Let's talk about your book and impact. So I had an author one time on the podcast. He said well, I want to talk about the book test and at the end of someone reading your book, they put it up on a shelf. You've got plenty of books on your shelf, I've got them on mine and I've rearranged them several times. And someone's going to look at the binding a year from now. What do you want them to think when they see that binding? That is the alone advantage that book. What do you want them to take away from the book and still remember and pass that book test?

Speaker 1: 23:57

Yeah, well, for me, the main thing is that at the very end, I share this. I was, you know, when I started these habits. I would be driving to the office listening to messages and I heard a minister make this statement. He said somebody in need is waiting on the other side of your obedience. And he said it twice and then it would end Somebody in need is waiting on the other side of your obedience. And I would be driving thinking could somebody seriously be waiting on me to wake up earlier, clean my house, read for 20 minutes, write my goals? And I would think, no, that's ridiculous, no one cares about me, and I would just keep driving, but I would replay that over and over in my head. Could somebody be waiting on me to get my act together? Well, today, when I meet people, the man in Seattle, this big giant man who came up to me in a book sign and asked me for a hug, with tears pouring down his face, and I said, yes, sir, I'll hug you. But then he begins to tell me you know that he was an atheist and alcoholic, near suicidal, wanted nothing to do with God. He found me on YouTube and I think my hilarious voice is what God is atingent. But he just changed his whole life and his family was there with him and they're, you know, crying and hugging me and I think somebody was waiting for me to start these habits because it would impact their life. So my goal is that when you read this book, you realize how serious this is, that you only have a short time here on earth. These habits aren't just about having success habits. It's what it produces in your life. Your assignment, your purpose, your dreams are all about impacting someone else. Somebody's waiting for you to get alone and learn this advantage, because it's not just going to impact your life, it's going to impact everyone around you.

Speaker 2: 25:55

So that's my goal. I love that. Thank you very much for sharing that, Terry. That was awesome and I know folks are going to find value. Folks get out there and get that book. Terry, where do folks learn more about you? How do they connect with you?

Speaker 1: 26:08

Yeah, so it's real simple, terrycom. I put the little T. How'd you get?

Speaker 2: 26:13

that.

Speaker 1: 26:14

Terrycom, isn't that amazing.

Speaker 2: 26:16

Yeah, it is amazing.

Speaker 1: 26:17

So T-T-R-R-I yeah. Okay, that is so cool, yeah, we have a YouTube channel, we'll find all that information about you.

Speaker 2: 26:22

Well, I know, again, I was watching a video, so Instagram will put some links, but Terrycom is where they can find everything about you. I want to ask you something fun and again, partly like I had a question here, to ask you. Your bio or your about page talked about the. You were known for many things, including the hilarious props, so I so appreciate, when we have the video, that folks will see some of the things that you used, including the CD, many times to go through that. But we're going 10, 15 years down the road and somebody's going to make the movie about Terry as well.

Speaker 1: 26:54

Who's going to play you in their movie oh, I'm kind of thinking Reese Witherspoon, because I have a little bit of Elwoods, legally blind, in me.

Speaker 2: 27:03

Mm-hmm, let's your heart. And understand that, absolutely, no doubt about it. That's so cool too, reese. We came out there pretty quick. Terry, what role has faith played in your journey?

Speaker 1: 27:15

I mean it's clearly through the book, it's everything. It's everything Bible says it's impossible to please God without faith. So I believe faith is what obviously moves mountains. Faith is what causes impossible dreams to become possible. And what's interesting because we've really emphasized this today when I hear about people doing impossible things and I go well, how do I get faith like that? Well, god gave us the solution. He said faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. So for me, every time you push play, faith comes and fear goes. Faith comes and fear goes Pretty important to me.

Speaker 2: 27:53

Very important. Terry, you've been very gracious to share your time with the listeners of the Uncommon Leader Podcast today. I just really have one more question and one. I always ask folks, and I think you've probably said many of these things already, but I'm going to give you a billboard. You can put that billboard wherever you want to, if you want it to be down there in Lubbock near Texas Tech, or for all those folks to see those red raiders to see down there. I'm a West Virginia Mountaineer, by the way, so you guys have had the best of us over the past few years and going forward. But what message do you want to put on that billboard and why do you want to put that message there?

Speaker 1: 28:28

Hmm, you know I always say when the vision is clear, the results will appear. I want people to get so crystal clear on their vision, their assignment, their purpose that there's not a chance they wouldn't fulfill it. So when the vision is clear, the results will appear. And, of course, I'm the cheerleader of dreams, so I'm cheering you on to live your dreams.

Speaker 2: 28:51

Excellent, Terry. Thank you so much again for being such a gracious guest on the Uncommon Leader Podcast. I know folks are going to find value in the message you had to share, and they will when they get your book as well. So best wishes to you.

Speaker 1: 29:02

Thank you so much. This was such a privilege. I appreciate it with so much joy and I believe this book will impact many lives.

Speaker 2: 29:12

And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared. Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of Uncommon Leaders. Until next time, go with Grow Champions.